You Can Do It Apple Pie

Hey… remember that time I made a giant mess of my kitchen counter, spilling water and flour and butter every where while making a pie crust?

What?  I wore my big ghetto hoop earrings!  I made a big ol’ mess!  You don’t remember?

Fine… lucky for you, Jill and I made a video of the whole extravaganza.

That’s right.  It’s Bake Out time again.

If you haven’t yet made a big fruity summer pie, might I suggest you do so pronto?  That means like… right now.  This weekend.  Get on it.

For you pie pleasure, I’d like to humbly offer you this Blueberry Blackberry Pie or the Strawberry Banana Cream Pie.  Equally lovely.  Please consider the goodness then get in the kitchen and.. go.

Ps.  I like you.

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Spicy Cornmeal Parmesan Crackers

Since when are you the type of person to make your own crackers?

Since… today.

Spicy Cornmeal Parmesan Crackers

You’ll feel fancy.  You’ll feel accomplished.  You’ll want to show off.

… and all you did was whip up some crackers.  Kind of amazing.

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Sugar Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches

I shouldn’t have to use a lot of words to convince you that topping a sugar cookie with a scoop of your favorite ice cream and then smashing it all together with another sugar cookie is a good idea.

Huh?

That’s sort of a weird sentence.  Did that make sense?

What I’m trying to say is… please just make these and share them with the people around you.

I’m gonna go wash my hair and put on lipstick… that’s what girls do, right?

Sugar Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches

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Notes from Seattle

July 26, 2010

Seattle Summer

This is a picture of me on a bridge, among the trees, wearing sporty shorts in Seattle.

This picture tells you a few things:

I’m not in a kitchen.  I’m really excited about not being in a kitchen.  My sister let me borrow her running shorts so I didn’t have to wear my bright purple yoga pants…. and I’m wearing a fashion scarf because I want to look cute even when I’m hiking four miles up a mountain.

Aaand.. I have several versions of this picture where my arms are raised too high, exposing a little belly.  I’ve spared myself the shame of sharing those.

Let me show you what my Seattle times look like.  Wanna see?  Rad.

read more Seattle!

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Rainer Cherry Brown Betty

Were you wondering how many pounds of Rainier Cherries I’ve eaten in the four days I’ve been in Seattle?  Well… just about six.  Six pounds of cherries.

Were you wondering if you can get a terrible tummyache from too eating too many Ranier Cherries?  Well… yes.  Yes you can.

Rainer Cherry Brown Betty

Wait… I just realized that this recipe is similiar to the Banana Bourbon Bread Pudding I just made.  Yeesh.  I’m on a baked bread and fruit and sugar kick.  Bear with me.

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Banana Bourbon Bread Pudding

Imagine how glorious your day would be if you took plain old, super soft white bread and baked it with milk and sugar, bananas and bourbon.

Seriously… what are you doing right now?  Unless you’re shoe shopping or naked with someone you like… I think you should stop what you’re doing and at least think about making some bread pudding.

Or you could watch this video.

Bake Out with Jill and Joy.  We’re at it again.  We do a fair amount of giggling.  We eat piping hot bread pudding and try to pretend that we’re not burning our freaking faces off.  I also announce myself as the winner of the game of life… cause yea.

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Seriously, Frank!?

July 19, 2010

The Stupid Bachelorette

Last night was the night I nearly threw a television out of the window.

Here’s why:

Frank.  Seriously.  Frank and his stupid tank tops and his stupid rando ex-girlfriend and his stupid dramatic insecurities…. and man crying.  Stupid sad piano music should follow Frank around for the rest of his life.

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En Route to Seattle

July 18, 2010

Notes from the Road

Remember that time, earlier this year, when I drove my sister from Los Angeles to Seattle?

Remember… it was that time I ate my weight in Chex Mix and strawberry cheesecake.

Well!  I’m headed back up to Seattle this week!  There will be some serious sister time… and I’m dragging my Mom along too.  I think we’re going to laugh for three straight days… then be on each other’s nerves for a day and a half.  It happens that way sometimes.

Plans include:  introducing my mom and sister to The Bachelorette tonight, drinking more coffee than necessary at every possible moment, hugging my sister’s head, meeting her new kitty Charlesbear and…. I dunno… do you wanna hang out?  I’ll be at Top Pot… every Top Pot I can find.  I’ll be the girl with a giant doughnut in my face.  Keep your eyes peeled for that.

Notes from the Road

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Honey and Beer Spice Cake

I want a hamburger.

with cheese and pickles and too much ketchup.

And chocolate milk.

This is not that… but this is still good.

Honey and Beer Spice Cake

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iPhone.

From one to many: a list.

One: the number of iPhones I own.

Two: the number of computers I have in my posession.

Zero: the number of power sources I have for those computers.

One: dead computer.

One: out of battery computer.

One: attempted iPhone blog post.

13: the number of bottles of wine I wish to drink right now.

Four: the number of bags if Doritos I would like to eat right now.

Zero: the number of sit-ups I would like to do, ever.

One Thousand Seven Hundred Ninty Nine: the number of dollars needed to buy the MacBook Pro I love.

Three: the number of times I’ve told myself to shut-it and be thankful for what I have. Geeez.

One kabillion: the number used to represent my love for my fancy phone.

57: the number of text messages sent on that phone today.

Twenty two: the number of today’s text messages that were about The Bachelorette.

Honey beer cakin

1: the number of Honey and Beer Spice Cakes I’ve made today.

Tomorrow: when I’ll show you that dang cake instead of going on and on about my broken technology.

Almost two: the number if hours it took me to get this out.

19: the most likely number of typos in this post. I like you. My apologies.

Sent from my (douchey) iPhone.
Thank you Steve Jobs. Thank you.

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And Then Everything Fell Apart

July 14, 2010

Yesterday was one of those days.
Yesterday was one of those days where important things break, other things fall apart, and you’re compelled to self soothe with tuna melts, french fries and beer… and a prayer or two… or three, or four.

The day started off with such promise.  I decided to take in the sweltering Los [...]

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Blueberry Black and White Cookies

July 11, 2010

Baked pancakes with two kinds of frosting… that’s basically what I’m asking you to put into your face today.
But first… here are the three questions I have swirling around my brain this afternoon:
-  At what point in the dating process can I start shaving my legs less often?  I’d like to be prepared for that [...]

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Cardamom Rose Water Milkshake

July 8, 2010

 
There’s a certain dress I put on when I want to feel pretty.  It shows lots of shoulder, cuts right at the skinny part of my body and maaaaybe there’s a tiny peak of side boob.  I heard that showing off a little side boob is totally in this summer.  Lucky us, ladies… lucky us. [...]

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The Single Lady Pancake

July 7, 2010

 
I sleep in the middle of the bed.  I think I might hog the pillows.  I read a book in bed with a headlamp on my head.  It’s dorky.  Sometimes I fall asleep with the light on… mostly because I’m scared of murderers and not because I just happen to fall asleep with the light [...]

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Bikinis are Stupid

July 5, 2010

 
This might look like a pile of my unmentionables.  Wait… does anyone call underwear ‘unmentionables’ anymore?  
Well… they’re not my unmentionables.  They’re bathing suits.  Underwear that you wear in public.  Downright horrifying.  
I hate bikinis.  
But I still want to look like a babe in one.  Wait… does anyone ever feel like a babe in [...]

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Blueberry Blackberry Pie

July 2, 2010

 
Now that’s a pie.  
Warm lemony berry filling that spills when sliced.   A crisp and flaky sugar topped crust.  Imperfect crust  crimping and slightly burned edges.  
Let me tell you a few secrets about pies.  They’re a lot of work.  They’re never perfect.  Sometimes they burn.  Sometimes they bubble.  And somehow a slightly warm, [...]

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How To Make Pie Crust… do it.

June 30, 2010

 
We’ve talked about pie crust before, you and I.  
I thought today might be a good day for a little refresher.  The breeze outside is mighty fine, the sun seems pretty friendly, I’ve got chilled butter in the fridge, and… tomorrow I want to show you how to make a double crusted berry pie… so [...]

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Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls

June 29, 2010

 
I’m twenty nine years old.  I’m an adult.  I pay my bills.  I do my taxes.  I go to jury duty.  I stand in line at the post office without heavy sighs.  I floss too!  I totally floss.  
And yet.  Somehow.  I thought it would be ok… not just ok, but reasonable… not just reasonable… [...]

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Wild Rice Salad with yogurt vinaigrette

June 28, 2010

 
Right now, all I can think about is raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.  
But… that’s not why we’re here today.   Today we have to talk about rice and beans and vegetables.  I just want you to know that what I’m really thinking about it… cookie dough.  Oooh cookie dough.  
Ok.. let’s focus.  I’ve been [...]

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Buttery Sweet Dough. Emulsions and gunk.

June 25, 2010

 
 
So what’s the deal with this Buttery Sweet Dough Bakery Emulsion?
A few of you asked what this mysterious stuff was…  you seemed pretty serious… I don’t want to get beat up.
Let me tell you about this baking gunk.  
Buttery Sweet Dough Bakery Emulsion is like a baking extract… like a vanilla or an artificial butter [...]

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