Last night was the night I nearly threw a television out of the window.
Here’s why:
Frank. Seriously. Frank and his stupid tank tops and his stupid rando ex-girlfriend and his stupid dramatic insecurities…. and man crying. Stupid sad piano music should follow Frank around for the rest of his life.
Roberto. It must be hot in Tahiti. You seem to be a sweat monster. You took sweaty from sexy to schvitzy… Yea, sorry.
Chris. Some show producer told you to waaay unbutton your cute red plaid shirt waaaay low, didn’t they? Well.. at least you have nice clavicles.
Also… someone has baby teeth. Also… this show has forever ruined the word ‘amazing’. Good heavens. Also… will someone please take Frank’s microphone away? Lordy. Why did he bring such a big suitcase? Also… how would you like to bust out your ugly cry on national television? Not ok.
Maybe I was Skype chatting with my friend Whitney through this whole tedious ordeal. Whitney is waaaay into wine. She paired a wine for each one of the three finalists. I’m waaaay into sweets, so I ate half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while watching. I’m not necessarily proud of anything I’ve done tonight. It happened though… and why hide my private Bachelorette shame when I can just as easily share it with the thousands of you out there. That makes sense, right?
ugh… frank…
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Ah…Joy! I LOVE this post. It is so heartening to know I am not the only one obsessed with this show!!!
Ugh. Frank. Ugh. Ugly cry.
Agreed with everything above. And I laughed out loud when I read “Why did Frank bring such a big suitcase?” I wondered the same thing while watching last night. Maybe he invited his Chicago girlfriend to spend a few days with him in paradise.
I am a die-hard Bachelor/Bachelorette fan. I felt sorry for Ali way back when Jake broke her heart. Then to have this stuff happen twice on the Bachelorette. That poor girl just keeps getting it dumped on her. Makes me wonder if she is doing something wrong. I was REALLY disappointed in Frank. I (stupidly) thought that they might have something going! Thank God she found out now ahead of making a huge mistake!
Chris. In time it would be all about Roberto, I’m afraid. Yes, he’s hot, but so is Chris AND he has depth. And Joy, you nailed it…great clavicles (I love a good-looking guy’s clavicles!). Frank’s been a moron from the start. Good riddance. But, what the heck was Ali’s reaction?! She’s had doubts all along b/c he’s so flaky and she still got so stinking upset? She’s got two guys chasing after her and one idiot walking away AND SHE SOBBED?! She needs to grow up.
I always check out your blog to see what tasty treats you have posted, and I am a huge fan of your witty commentary; it just makes the blog that more fun.
Anway… it put a huge smile on my face to see your post about Frank (Frank the tank as my husband calls him…. yeah, I might drag him into watching it). It makes me feel better to know that I and my viewing partner in crime Emily are not the only ones yelling at the ridiculousness (yep new word) that is the Bachelorette. Frank being absolutely idiotic-dramatic-horribleness, Roberto and his faucet-like sweating and Chris and his cuteness… even though I know that producers must be dressing him and giving him one-liners.
Ok, thats all. I don’t know you, but I think you’re fun. Keep up the awesome blogging.
I was really excited when I opened this today and found this off topic post about FRANK! I am horridly addicted to The Bachelorette. Of course, I’m a Roberto fan, but yeah… what was with the schweating?
I haven’t even finished reading your whole post… but I had to comment about the Bachelorette. I couldn’t even watch the whole episode. Crybaby Frank is just too annoying.
I LOVE that you are not hiding your Bachelorette shame! I am obsessed. I live in England and have to watch crappy Flash versions now on my laptop. And I have no one to share it with here (not like when I lived in Florida) which is even sadder. Go Chris!
I could not agree more! Frank totally didn’t want to take the chance to be rejected by Ali so he went running back to Nicole. And she was stupid enough to take him back! What a big baby he is. I think he missed out on the chance to have something wonderful, and I think she would have picked him in the end. So now, I root for Chris. The guy deserves to have some happiness in his life!! But seriously, Frank, figure out your life and your hopes and dreams and fears before going on national television and making some girl cry!!
Oh my god!! I know, what’s up with Frank?? I was so upset! And personally, I’m still up in the air between Roberto and Chris. I think I’m leaning more towards Chris though. We’ll see!
HA!! This is exactly what I was thinking the whole time :)
Not the state the obvious, but didn’t Frank wear that same skeevy cardigan about 5 times? I mean, come on man!
I feel like you would have fit in nicely when my roommate and I were drinking wine, eating cupcakes, and screaming at the TV last night.
We screamed… a lot. I feel sorry for the neighbors.
agreed. ugh!! and i was so mad b/c there was a thunderstorm in my area so they kept interrupting all the big conversations with stupid weather warnings! gah! so mad!!!!
Ive never heard of this show before and just watched this episode. It is a kind of crazy idea but I cannot get past that she is doing all that kissing and stroking of arms with more than one guy, kind of gross to me, am I the only one who finds it a little peculiar?
I can totally see how this could get addictive, from a fresh standpoint the Chris guy seems more genuine than her, do you really think she is looking for a husband?
i totally agree with the post. made me laugh this morning. i seriously sat in front of my tv the whole time frank was on and just yelled at him. what an idiot!
you are too too funny – i too did a lot that night I wasn’t proud of and it started with being addicted to the Bachelor franchise. Why am i addicted?! Why?!
This is too funny. My husband walked in as I was screaming to the TV (Ali), “Who cares about Frank? He’s such a girl”!!! He thinks I have totally lost it. He may be right.
You said it all perfectly. What I wanted to say only more right on.
Frank. Ugh. You like drama, huh?
Further proof that we would be BFFs in real life! I too wholeheartedly despise Frank. I too was grossed out by Roberto’s high sweat factor. Which isn’t fair because I am an excessive sweater myself, but that simply means that our babies would be permanently sweaty and I cannot inflict such a life on my unborn child. Oh, and I too ate half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching. Phish Food and Cape Cod Chris for the win!
I heard yesterday that there’s a Bachelorette drinking game. Every time they use the word “Amazing” you have to drink. There were 18 instances in this last episode. Two questions, 1) wouldn’t this be more fun as an ice cream game? why am I just hearing about this now?
you captured my sentiments perfectly. thank you :)
Oh my. I’ve been reading Reality Steve since last season with Jake – and it has addicted me even more to these shows. I think it BITES how the producers manipulate these people and bring about massive heart break. I bet poor Frank can’t walk five feet down the street in Chicago without someone knocking the crap out of him with their bag. Producers totally threw him AND Ali under the bus. I really think she would’ve chosen him if this hadn’t happened. Whatever, I hope he and Nicole live happily ever after. Sure cost him – and Ali – enough. But oh, Chris L…he’s so dang cute. He seems like a great guy – stable, normal, probably will go back home and live a normal life. He’s the kind of guy Ali needs, but she’s way too insecure to pick him, I’m afraid. I love Monday nights after my kids and husband go to sleep…so I can watch the DVR’ed Bachelorette uninterrupted! Yeah. Love it.
I was halfway through watching your Bourbon Banana Bread Pudding video and got sidetracked by “Seriously, Frank?!?”. I too am obsessed. I think she should choose Roberto. He is the man-equivalent of hot Bourbon Banana Bread Pudding. Nice post!!
All totally true! And why was the ex-girlfriend just randomly living in a hotel room? Hmm?
I came upon your site quite by accident, but it’s great. And I’m also one of the Bachelor/Bachelorette obsessed. I always thought that Frank was high maintenance. His ex is going to be sorry that he sought her out again. What a pain in the neck. I had to laugh when he told Allie that he too, had given up everything to be on the show. Like what? His room in his parent’s house? Pizza night with mom and dad?
Roberto and Allie is a hot and heavy romance. Chris and Allie is a slow burn. I like them both, but would love to see Roberto be the next Bachelor.
Oh, Frank…
He took his lameness to a whole new level. Didn’t see that one coming and didn’t particularly care.
They should have ended the show last night. Clearly the chick wants Roberto.
hahaha I had to wait to read this until I had a chance to watch it on hulu, but now I’m back to comment. Love your commentary. Seriously, the bachelorette recaps are better than the show. Chris is my favorite, and Ali would be stupid not to pick him. But roberto’s not bad either…just haven’t really seen any depth. my husband thinks I’m ridiculous, but I love watching the show, no matter how unrealistic :)
I agree..and he looks like a troll doll…eewww…Frank, a slightly better looking Woody Allen!
Frank has tiny eyes and a waxed chest!
I haven’t watched this show in years because when I did watch it, I was always mad at the end when they always chose the wrong person! I watched this year for the 3 Canadians and was ridiculously hooked from the first show! I liked Frank right until the ugly cry and I wondered about the big suitcase too. But you gotta feel sorry for him. He will not be popular anywhere he goes. And the other thing that occurred to me is Ali’s is so offended and hurt and angry but HELLO! Thats EXACTLY what she is about to do to either Roberto or Chris (and personally as hot as Roberto is, I think she’s WAY more into Chris). Can’t wait for Men Tell All. I wonder if we’ll see Frank’s ugly cry again!?
Oh man! Frank is so gross. There is nothing worse than watching dumb boys fake bitch-cry while sweating like a Summer Hog.
Grrrrossss. Aly is no exception to this rule BTW. <3
I was reading this and suddenly i realized…I forgot to watch the bachelorette last night! Seriously, I’m experiencing that as an emergency. I don’t get why.
And by the way, I miss Kirk.
i watched that too. Frank. ugh. there’s not much to say about him except that i can’t believe him…
hilarious!! every season i say i’m not going to watch and then i sucked in!!!!
i thought i was the only one noticing frank and his broke down, dingy wife-beaters!!! gross!
ugh! Frank! ‘nough said!!
I was definitely saying the same thing “UGH!” while watching this episode. I also think that Frank’s low cut V-neck shirts are not O.K.
It’s just wrong and questionable.
I agree with you…UGHHHHH….FRANK…why in the world?!?! I think this was my least fave episode. Love your blog, Joy!! =)
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