Comments on: Down to my last Egg

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:54:51 +0000

I don’t know what your specific problem is, but I can tell you one thing (okay maybe a few things).

On my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary, I asked my Grandad while we were alone, “How do you do it Grandad? How do you make it work? Marriage, I mean.”

He laughed and then looked at me with a sparkle (I’m not embellishing)in his eye, “You think this has always been easy? Thats the thing. Don’t ever expect it to be easy. If you do, then you are in trouble. Sometimes your Grammy drives me mad, and sometimes I drive her mad, but I have always been commited to making things work. Sometimes you have to be the one to say your sorry, even if you know you did nothing wrong. I just know that I love your Grammy, everytime I look at her.”

They have passed away since, and I miss them everyday. They were the glue that held things together in our family, and they were the most adorable lovebirds you had ever seen. She was a very beautiful and proper woman, and he was always standing next to her with his hand on the small of her back, looking at her admiringly with a gleam in his eye. I am getting married next spring, so I am always going try and remember what he said.

By: Jule

Jule — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:14:48 +0000

Joy,
I think you’re just the most strawberry-jammy girl with a lovely smile and this person who is causing you heartache… well I’m sure he has his good qualities, but if he is causing you to feel blue and unhappy and if he said unkind things to you when you are the baking dream, I just know he’s not the right one. I had lots and lots and lots of heartache. Lots of us have, I guess. I remember the pain of a few of them as being so visceral. The first time, I thought I would die, literally. It all helps. All of the heartache, after the right period of time and several dozen more eggs, is good for us. Like broccoli. It makes us healthier and keeps us strong for when we move past broccoli and find something sweeter. I did at age 31 when I had become OK with myself and my life. I believe in what the commenter said about finding someone kind… and being someone kind. That seems to be the key to getting through the broccoli. Best wishes to you, Joy. I have a huge baker crush on you.

By: Pepperoni and Black Olive Pizza or Love and Happiness at Joy The Baker

Pepperoni and Black Olive Pizza or Love and Happiness at Joy The Baker — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:28:56 +0000

[...] of love and happiness- remember when I was down to my last egg and came to you for love advice a few weeks back? Did I tell you how much all of your comments [...]

By: Evan

Evan — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 23:47:38 +0000

Joy,
I happened to be down to my last egg today and decided to make your pudding and whipped cream. Oh so yummy! And it was way easier than I would have guessed. Thanks! Its a hit with my husband who doesn’t even eat sweets.
Ev

By: Biene

Biene — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 21:45:56 +0000

Hi Joy, first of all, I simply adore your website, it’s clean,clear and so readable.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a tough period..well, I cannot give any advice, but I could share what i’ve been through. As someone mentioned - vanilla or rocky road. That is so right on.

I had rocky road for 6 years, and geez was it full of dramatic, heart-rending, passionate highs and lows. He wouldn’t commit, would never give in and kept me guessing till the very end, until I gave up and left..him, and the country.

The came the vanilla one for 3 years, the one who wouldn’t give in to my outbursts and who loved me more than I loved him.Perhaps it all came down down to timing, I wasn’t ready to settle down. I was the nasty one this time, the one who made him feel insecure.

So it seems, for me, what goes around comes around.Perhaps, it’s third time lucky?

What would I do next time round? look for characteristics of a good person: someone who is confidant but balanced, responsible, gentle but firm, kind and sociable. Someone who respects me, has a kind word for any one any time of the day, loves his family and takes each dispute seriously but knows those mundane disputes are part and parcel of, and should not leave even a dent in a long term relationship.

And what would I do the next time round? Try really hard to be the same.

Well, it is easier said than done, of course!

One more thing, giving each other space, being 2 individuals and not merging into 1 unit helps.

Hmmm. I will be checking back on your blog, do keep the readers updated. Take care and good luck!

By: Marie

Marie — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:40:02 +0000

First - that puddin’ looks mighty good!

Second - relationships are some times easy, sometimes hard, sometimes both in the same day. They are rarely perfect but you work at it if it makes you happy most of the time. The one thing it should not be on a regular basis is neurotic. If that becomes the norm than it’s time to rethink things.

Good luck and good baking.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:26:51 +0000

I’m new here (and trying the red velvet cupcakes tomorrow!!!) I feel like I can comment on your “matter” with two things I always try to remember.

1. A relationship is at its best when both parties are working to be their very best individually. Those two people, both trying hard to improve themselves add up to great results when together. Sort of like a chocolate chip cookie recipe: simple, good ingredients together=greatness.

2. Relationships are not 80/20 or 50/50. They are 100/100. Both of you have to try your very best all the time. Sure, your very best on any given day may not be as much, so that’s where your other’s very best helps carry the weight. If you start down the road of keeping score, soon the tank will run dry.

Best hopes for happier times! I can’t wait to read your latest!

By: queenie

queenie — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:35:04 +0000

Aw, relationship drama IS old-fashioned, in that it’s been happening since time began. No relationship is all flowers, chocolates and perfect evenings. Ultimately, these rough patches are what make relationships better and stronger in the end.

To use another old-fashioned phrase: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. It’s absolutely true.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:04:10 +0000

Oh Joy, I’m sorry you hit a rough patch. I think most of the advice I’d give has already been said, but I will say that my relationship with my hubby has not always been sunshine and roses. I think you hit those points in your relationship that can either make or break you. You can either decide, this person is worth working through all this crap for or he isn’t. If both of you decide it’s worth it a lot can come of working through those problems and coming out on top in the end. Good Luck!

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:42:59 +0000

Oh dear, Joy. I’m sorry you are having relationship issues. Let me tell you this… I was married at a young age, divorced, and then found the love of my life a few years later and married him.

Now, when I say he is the love of my life, I mean… things aren’t hot and heavy all the time, we enjoy just being together, we have similar interests and although we don’t communicate perfectly, we attempt to talk

What I have discovered comparing the first and second marriages is that #1 was really, really hard. Our relationship was a lot of work. With my current husband, it is hard, but not constantly hard. We’ve been married for 9 years now and those 9 years have been ten times easier than the 2 I spent with hubby #1. So, if a relationship is too much work, constantly, I have to guess it isn’t the right relationship. Nick and I work on our marraige, but it isn’t constant.

Hope that helps. Thinking about you and hope your heartache ends soon. I know how painful that is.