Joy the Baker

I have downright baffled myself.  

I may have mentioned that I’m moving this week.  Moving is… horrifying.  Yes, I’m being dramatic.  Please indulge me. 

Among the things that I found under my bed and in the dark recesses of my closet as I’ve been cleaning and packing are:

eight kitten stuffed animals. 

one medium sized bunny stuffed animal. 

three puppy stuffed animals.

….. WWWHHHHHYYYY?

one baby sock….  A. Baby.  Sock.  I have no baby.  Seriously… What the heck is going on here!?

a tiny rhinestone turtle toe ring.  Really?  

one sweater that gives my arms a rash.  I found out the hard way.  

one wooden bobble head turtle toy.  Why so many turtles hiding in my house?

and… a rock.  Because… yea.  A rock.

Take these Little Lemon Hazelnut Cakes as a token of my love, affection, and dwindling sanity.  

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Hi darling.  Hey sugarbear.  What’s shakin’ sweetums?  Lookin’ good sweetpea.  Hey loverboy!  Oooh darlin’.  

I’m practicing my terms of endearment.  Yea… I want to sound natural when the time comes to use them.  

Can I practice on you?  How does this sound?

     Hey loverbear, will you come on in here and help me with these dishes?

     Darlin’, will you hold the oven door open for me?

How about…

     Sweetpea, stay away from those cookies.  You know we have company coming.  

My favorite…

     Sweetums, I made you cupcakes… cause I love you like crazy.

How am I doing so far?  I’m a little stiff aren’t I?  I’ll keep working on it.    

Jump on over.  I have a lot to tell you!

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Let’s just go ahead and let the Hot Fudge Sundae Cupcakes do the talking…

Yes.  I am thoroughly satisfied with myself.  

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God sure does have a clever sense of humor, wouldn’t you say!?

Yes.

Here’s how I know:  I’m dating a faaaaantastic man who… doesn’t know the difference between a pie and a cake… a muffin and a cupcake.

Funny, right?  This has to be a joke… right?

Nope.

Ok.  To be fair.  It’s not that he doesn’t know the difference… it’s just that he mixes them all up all the time.  Maybe it makes me a little crazy.  Maybe it goes a little something like this:

Me:  Simon,  what do you want for your birthday?

Simon:  A giant pie!

Me:  A pie?  You mean you don’t want a big ol’ chocolate cake?

Simon:  Oh!  Wait!  No…. I want a cake.  Wait… cakes are the big, multi-layered things with all the frosting.  Yes.  I want that.

Me:  Cake.  Not pie.  Cake.  Ok.

OR!

Me:  Hey Simon!  What do you want for breakfast?

Simon:  Cupcakes!

Me:  You mean muffins, right?

Simon:  Ooh yea.  Muffins.  Yeaaaaah.  They have the same shape!  It’s confusing.

Me:  I know.

Ok… maybe these two conversations are a bit of an exaggeration.  But seriously friends… they’re not that much of an exaggeration.  This happens to me, and I don’t see an end in sight.  Very funny God.  Luckily I have a very keen sense of humor too.  Ha.

Perhaps making up for his mix-ups, Simon is one hell of a cupcake decorator.  Seriously.

Now, I’d like to introduce you to my absolute favorite Red Velvet Cupcake recipe with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting.  Wait… muffins.  No, cupcakes.  No… definitely cupcakes.  I know this.

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These are pretty, right?  Hot diggity dang, I think they’re precious.  

In the middle of frosting these cupcakes I looked down at my hands.  No big deal.  I was simply looking down at the cupcake in one hand, and frosting covered knife in the other.  I had to see what I was doing, right?  When I looked down at this particular moment, I saw… my grandmother’s hands.  There they were, the worn and wrinkled hands that had absolutely fascinated me as a child… only now spotted with powdered sugar and tinted with food coloring.  

When I was a kid I would hold my grandmother’s hand in my lap and study it like it like I might study my favorite picture book.  Somehow her hands weren’t at all different from reading an intricate a story.  

So there I was, frosting a cupcake with my grandmother’s hands.  The image was so strong that I even put down the cupcake and knife and bent my left index finger with my right hand.  It ached a little.  I don’t know why.  And just like that… those hands were gone from me.  

That was simultaneously perplexing and so comforting.  I had to share that with you…  I now only hope that I live long enough for my hands to be read like a story book.  

Now let’s talk cupcakes!

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Me in a tree.  Wanna join me?

The truth is… I think we should totally hang out.  You and me, and you, and you and me.  Can we get together!?

I mean it.  It’s just about summer, it’s beautiful outside, the parks are just begging us to visit, and we’re still wading our way through this financial mess.  In other words… we’re kinda broke and it’s sunny out, right?

What say we all get together for a picnic?  No joke.  We’ll have lemonade and cupcakes, we’ll throw around a Frisbee (don’t worry, I suck), I’ll bring some cookies to decorate,  loads of them… we can talk about baking and blogging and anything else we’re equally obsessed with.  It’s on me.  Are you in?

Think of it as one of those fancy blogging conventions except with cupcakes and waaaay more fun.

I haven’t planned this whole shin dig yet.  It’s still just a thought bubble floating above my head.  What I need to know is… well…  if you’re in the Los Angeles area, would you come?  For real.  Be honest.  Don’t let me throw a party and buy balloons and then not show up.

If you think you’d like to come to a Joy the Baker Bit Fat Picnic Party where I bake things and you come eat them… if you think you’d bring your friends and family and dogs and birds… then leave a comment in this post expressing interest.  Be real.  I need to know if I’m an absolute maniac for dreaming something like this up or not.  Your thoughts, I need ‘em.

Picnic?  Discuss.

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Oh!  What if I promise to bring some of these!?

My favorite part of my sixth grade history text books were not the pictures.  Oooooh no… too easy.  I loved the little timelines at the end of a lesson, the kind of timeline that so neatly wrapped up the life and struggles of so many people.  Distill the entire American Civil Rights Movement into a timeline.  The progression of people and actions becomes so tidy and clear.  Aaah, thanks for the timeline.

I sometimes like to think of my life in timeline form.  I pick a theme and timeline it out in my head.  Yes, this happens.

Let’s timeline out my favorite ice cream flavors from the 1980’s to the present.  Not nearly as socially crucial as civil rights, but still somehow important.

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{ 1983- Strawberry Ice Cream is the only flavor in my world}  {1987- Whoa!  Bubble Gum in ice cream!?  Yes.  Want!}  {1990-  Rocky Road is the only way to go}     {1994-  Is it still Mint Chocolate Chip if it’s not green?  I say yes!}  {1999-  Cherry Garcia, will you marry me?}  {2005-  Going retro with Rainbow Sherbet, success!  {2009-  Enjoying the clever stylings of Brownie Bottom Coffee Ice Cream Cupcakes.  Consider them little cups of perfect fun right from the freezer.  For reals.}

Now that I can check “make an ice cream timeline” off my list of things to do today, let’s talk Ice Cream Cupcakes. Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!

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This morning I stood under a blossoming orange tree that hummed with honey bees.  I found my way under this tree after a walk through my neighborhood on one of those mornings that couldn’t decide if it wanted to laugh or cry.

The sidewalk showed evidence of midnight rain.  The smell of rain on asphault… ooh so perfectly dreamy.  The sky, bright blue with clusters of pure white and angry grey clouds.

The air was just cold enough to chill me through my sweater and carried the scent of orange blossoms nearly a block.  That’s the scene that lead me, arms hugging my chest, to the bee humming orange tree, live with blossoms and heavy with fruit.

The scene screamed of Spring.

Standing there under that tree, it felt like life was just bursting out into the world.  What a pure expression of life and beauty that tree was this morning.

Happy Spring.

Have some life… enjoy it!

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You mentioned once that you were an English major in college. What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you ever do it? How did you move from English major to Baker Extraordinaire?

I was an English major in college. Ironically enough, reading makes me fall asleep. Crazy, right? Somehow I managed to work my way through five (yes, it took me a while) years of college. I worked two jobs through college, always with food, often in kitchens. For those years, I either had my head (fast asleep) in a book, or my hands elbow deep in dough. When I finished college, I found that I loved baking so much that I didn’t want to stop working with food. I somehow wanted to find a way to incorporate my love of story telling with my passion for food. So far that journey has lead me here- cooking, photographing and writing for you fine folks. I honestly can’t think of any place I’d rather be!

Have you thought of making healthy versions of some of your recipes, or proposing a corpus of kid-friendly, healthier recipes that use fruit sugars and fat subs for a more conscious approach of your culinary art?

I think butter is beautiful. I think sugar is dreamy. I think cream is over the moon. I bake with ingredients that put a smile on my face. I certainly wouldn’t consider the treats on my site as everyday meal-time staples, but for a special occasion… when you need to reach out to that inner sugar fiend… this is a good place to come.

If you’re looking for fruit sugars and fat substitutes, I just may not be the baker for you. It’s just not what I’m passionate about these days. While I do have a handful of healthful recipes like my Gnarly Muffins… these recipes just don’t bring a sparkle to my eye like cream, butter and chocolate do.

What kind of camera do you use? Did you take classes or is it just the camera that creates those gorgeous shots?

I use a Canon XSi with a 100mm macro lens. It’s a lovely, easy to use camera, made even more awesome with the fancypants lens. Can I tell you a secret? There was a time when the lens to my camera was worth more money than the car I was driving. True…. that’s really true.

I also have to tell you that I’ve actually never take a photography class. A dear friend handed me a SLR camera, gave me a 15 minute lesson all about aperture and depth of field I think he might have mentioned shutter speed once or twice… but that was it. He knew what I wanted to shoot and he showed me exactly how to do it.

The 100mm macro lens It’s totally worth it, isn’t it?

Yes. Yes it is.

Did you go to culinary school? Do you currently work at a bakery? Have you been working at a bakery for your entire professional life?

Here’s the deal: I’m a self taught baker. I didn’t go to culinary school. Why? It was just too darn expensive. As a result, I’m no master at cream puffs, my bread baking is sometimes a comic tragedy and fancy French desserts make me break out in a cold sweat. But that stuff just isn’t where my passion lies. I’m more interested in getting in the kitchen with my Dad to recreate his favorite pie, or filling my kitchen with girlfriends to play with cookie recipes. My approach is all about food, stories, laughs and love and I didn’t feel like I needed culinary school to teach me that.

What recipe ingredients are worth splurging on?

Whatever you love… it’s worth splurging on. I love food, so I think the good stuff is worth seeking out. Recently I’ve come to love raw, artisanal honeys. The people at Ames Farm seem to know what they’re doing with bees. They have lovely honey that I usually eat by the spoonful. I also love love love good chocolate. I like to buy Valrhona when it comes to my chocolate baking needs. Expensive, yes… but the quality is absolutely worth the extra dough.

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I feel like I’ve had cupcakes coming out of my ears lately.  I probably have.  But there are worse things, right?

Friends… we need to talk.  It’s about me, and how I need a vacation.  And how I’m actually taking a small vacation, making my July 4th weekend extra long and glorious.  There will be a pool, a bikini, sunglasses and… mojitos.  I’ll take pictures and share, promise.    

Please allow me to leave you with these double chocolate and bright red velvet cupcakes.  Take good care of them while I’m gone.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!  Don’t eat anything I wouldn’t eat… 

I’m in the mood to reminisce.  This past weekend my Aunt Judy celebrated her 60th birthday.  I helped her celebrate her nostalgia-themed party with these Bright Red Velvet Cupcakes.  Before we get to the cake, let’s jump back some 20something years and visit Joy and Judy, circa 1985.

My Aunt Judy is gorgeous.  Know how I know?  Because in this picture she makes the mid 80’s look damn good.  And if you can rock the 80’s and still look classic and chic, you’re doing something right.

I’m feigning coy.  At 4, I knew darn well how cute I was.

Even from the tender age pictured above I marveled at how my Aunt could have a closet solely dedicated to shoes.

That deck that Judy and I are standing on would eventually collapse as my Dad walked across it one day.

Before that collapse, I would crawl under that deck exactly one time.  I thought I heard kittens. Turns out there were kittens under the deck, but there were also spiders.  I don’t function rationally around spiders.  I do ridiculous things to get away from them.  Yea… I only did that once.

The palm tree behind us.  I would grow up to think it a good idea to grab onto a large palm frawn and swing several feet off the ground like Tarzan.  Turns out that’s not a good idea, because those palm frawns break.  And as I lay on the ground after what felt like a tremendous fall, I thought, “Oh!  Tarzan swung from vines!”.   Good thing I didn’t grow up around any vines. I surely would have broken my body.

Happy Birthday Judy, and many more!

Now let’s talk cupcakes…

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Please allow me this last party post. You won’t have to hear a word about it after this. Promise. But what’s a party without cupcakes? And what’s a chocolate cupcake without The Best Chocolate Buttercream Frosting? Tragedy, I suppose.

It should go without saying that these super soft chocolate cupcakes were a hit at the party. But there is one mystery. Around about 2 in the morning, as I was somehow making my way around the room collecting dirty plates, I ran across a plate with a discarded cupcake on it. The cupcake had one bite taken out of it, and then the remainder of the cupcake was smashed upside down onto the dirty paper plate. WHAT!? Who would do that!? Seriously… not cool.

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I absolutely LOVE Memorial Day weekend. It’s like all the good things in the world come together in one weekend. I look forward to this three day weekend at the start of May. Not only is it my birthday weekend, but it’s also the unofficial start of summer, the start of outdoor grilling and parties with friends, and just all around good times.

If I had a lake anywhere near me, I’d be down at the lake all the time, just so I could say, “I’m going down to the lake!” That feels like an ultra summer thing to say. Lake or no lake, I feel a beautiful summer coming on.

And as if I couldn’t get more excited, I’ve discovered I can make ice cream cupcakes! These little gems are really easy to throw together and you can make them with any flavor combination you can imagine. The only slight downside is that they melt (as ice cream tends to do) when they’re not in the freezer. Melting won’t be too much of an issue because these don’t tend to stick around long. I’ve already eaten 5, and the party isn’t until Sunday.

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Kids between the ages of 3 and 7 are pretty amazing.  They’re little screaming, snotting, jumping, and crashing balls of honesty.  If they don’t like you, you know it.  If they recognize you for the poopoo head that you are, they’re not afraid to tell you- to your face, in ear piercing tones.  They haven’t yet developed the ability to filter their opinion of you.  It’s simultaniously refreshing and completely unsettling.

That’s why, whenever I meet new kids, I come with cupcakes.  Not just cupcakes, but cupcakes with sprinkles.  It works every time.  It’s irresistable.  It’s my dirty little trick.  Walk into their house with cupcakes and a smile on your face, and you’ve got an instant friend.  And when they come and thank you for the cupcake with chocolate all over their face- well, there’s nothing better.

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It’s Tuesday and I’m back with Dorie.  She and I had broken up for a few weeks- some misunderstanding with snails and flan, but we’ve got it all sorted out.  A love like ours, afterall, couldn’t be denied for long.  So we’re back and better than ever with a gooey chocolate love to show for it!

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This morning I started the day thinking about Easter as a child.  It was the holiday as exciting as Christmas.  There were personalized Easter baskets filled with candies and chocolates on a bed of fake plastic grass.  There was always some sort of delicious ham and potato meal  And the Easter egg hunt.  Oh… the hunt!  The hunt is the sole reason I could sit through church is my Easter dress, itchy tights and Sunday shoes.  It was my little sister and I tearing through the house and backyard trying to find as many plastic eggs as we could.  It was brutal, and there was no mercy.  Flower beds were trampled, the house cat was scared from its house, tears were shed… it was the hunt, and it was serious.  The coveted Easter eggs to find of the hunt were the silent one.  Silent?  Yes!  Without the rattle of little chocolate candies, we knew  those particular eggs were filled with cash.  Oh how my sister and I would fight for those eggs.  Thinking about it now,  I have to shake my head at what greedy little children we must have been. Read more »

I took a day away from the kitchen yesterday, yet still found myself with a cupcake in hand.  It figures-I’m never too far away from a sweet treat, whether it’s baked by me or one of my favorite Los Angeles bakeries.  

This mini chocolate raspberry cupcake is from Vanilla Bake Shop in Santa Monica.  It’s a chocolate cupcake with raspberry jam filling and a dark chocolate ganache frosting.  There seemed to be more jam than cake in this cupcake, but the frosting was thick, rich and incredibly delicious.  

Vanilla Bake Shop has the most darling array of mini cupcakes.  This is called Mom’s Birthday Cake.  It’s delicious, with golden cake and buttery chocolate frosting. All in flavors remind me of  something that would come out of my Dad’s oven- banana cake, red velvet cake, spiced carrot cake.  All the options are apporachable, and elevated with a clean and hip design.    Good things are happening at Vanilla, and at $5 for 3 mini cupcakes, these treats feel like a pretty sweet deal.

Besides cupcakes, I found the most delicious (oh how I wish they were edible) bath confections.

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How do I describe the taste of Red Velvet cake?  Well, it’s not vanilla cake,  but it’s certainly not all chocolate.  Red Velvet cake, for lack of a more creative vocabulary, tastes like sweet red cake.  Without rich and decadent frosting, this cake is light, moist, quite tasty and yes, red.  My favorite Red Velvet cake is relentlessly smothered in brown sugar cream cheese frosting.  The recipe for both just a jump away.

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Coffee Cupcakes with Butter Whipped Baileys Chocolate Ganache

This month’s Cupcake Hero theme, inspired by love, cupid, the colors pink and red, and all things heart shaped and chocolate covered was: liqour.  Hosted by the endearing and endlessly charming Quirky Cupcake and Tempered Woman, who want to remind us that some holidays (Valentine’s Day is a holiday, right?) are better with a strong drink, or a cupcake that simulates a strong drink.

I use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to get out my construction paper and Elmer’s Glue and make cards asking various loved ones if they’d be my Valentine.  Why have just one Valentine?   I also like to give (by give, I mean, eat) loads of chocolate covered heart shaped candies. But, let’s be honest, I don’t buy those until February 15th.  I think we both know why- 50% off.

This year I’m going to add drunken cupcakes to my V-day extravaganza.  Coffee Cupcakes with Butter Whipped Bailey’s and Chocolate Ganache- sweet enough for lovers, and bitter enough for ex lovers.

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 These little beauties are the answer to any of life’s little hiccups.  Really.  Say, for example, you fall asleep with a candle burning in the  bedroom of the apartment you share with four other people.  Say, you wake up with the blankets on top of you up in flames… serious flames.  Say, in fear and shock and sleep, you flee your room and  run to your roommate’s room.  You knock furiously.  You knock like your bedroom is on fire, because it is.  You knock, wondering why you’re knocking when your bedroom is on fire. Say, your roommate answers the door is just her underwear, hears your plight through sleepy ears, and follows you in disbelief to your bedroom, which is as you left it, on fire.  Say, your brave roommate tries to help you put out the flames with the  smother technique, using all of your clothes and pillows as fire extinguishers.  It works, no thanks to you.  You were fanning the flames, not smothering them.  Say you and your roommate open your bedroom window and shove the charred remains of your blankets, clothes and pillows out, and watch them drop the three floors to the ground.  How would you thank your brave, kind, talented roommate?  How would you ensure your continued friendship help in future life threatening events?  Red Velvet  Cupcakes.  They work.  I have the friend and the blackened ceiling to prove it.  

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