Friends,  

The truth is… I haven’t quite been able to get my act together since my move.

I’ve been trying to distract you with posts about my box grater.  I’ve been trying to distract you with candy giveaways…. but that’s all starting to feel a little silly.  

The fact of the matter is, my KitchenAid is still unplugged and my new oven needs a good scrubbing… and, I just ate a giant slice of store bought coconut cream pie.

Want to take a peek into my new space?  Suuuure you do… come on in!

My walls went from a super intense turquoise to a lovely shade of light blue/grey.  I also painted my concrete floors navy. No the edges aren’t perfect.  Nope.  That’s ok with me.  Daniel… you gave me edges with character.  I like you and I thank you.  

I painted my door navy too.  It’s now the sexiest door I’ve ever seen.  

I like big pillows.  I like a lot of big pillows.  

The ceilings in my loft are metal.  There are all sorts of metal beams and bars.  Perfect to offset my sparkly blue glass chandelier.  I feel pretty. 

I had a ridiculous amount of cookbooks to unpack.  

My tiny couch is blue.  My little rug is lime green… and yes, that’s a frog pillow.  That’s a frog pillow that I latch hooked a few years back.  I didn’t have many friends.  I was single.  I didn’t have a blog.  I latch hooked myself a pillow.  Don’t judge me. 

Asher was the shining star who helped me carry big, annoying things like mattresses and dressers all around… up and down.  I paid him in pearls.  Cheap, fake pearls.  God bless him.  

Thanks for being patient while I settle in.  I’ll be back with sweets real soon.  

I want caramel corn.  So… that’ll happen real quick  like. 

Three things I love:

Bacon.

Candy.

People that make special things with special ingredients.

aaaand bonus.  You.  I think you’re awful swell.

Because I love all of these things, I thought I’d share a little something with you.

Morning Glory Confections is a Los Angeles based artisan brittle and candy company.  We’re talking handmade, small batch candy with amazing flavor combinations.  

The best part?  I want to send you some!

The Bacon, Spanish Paprika and Cashew Brittle recently roused my interest.  It’s sweet and smoky with just a lingering bit of salt and spice.  It’s absolutely delightful.

Because I couldn’t help myself, I also tried the Almond and Bacon Dragees.  Lightly candied and crunchy almonds triple coated in semi sweet chocolate, dusted in cocoa powder and tiny bacon crumbled.  Subtle.  Chocolate.  The perfect crunch.  I ate them for breakfast this morning… I wish I were kidding.  

And because I couldn’t order from Morning Glory without getting my absolute favorite treat… I also got a Fleur de Sel Peanut Brittle.  It’s perfectly salty and sweet and marvelous.  

I’m sharing with you!  Three of you darling people will win some Morning Glory.  Just leave a comment on this post from now until Saturday at midnight.  Say hi.  Tell me my hair looks nice… it’ll make me feel good.  ooOh happy day!

I was packing up my kitchen this afternoon and I got to thinking.

I got to thinking about my box grater… which is totally weird.  

As if thinking at length about my box grater weren’t odd enough… I’m now going to shovel my box grater thoughts onto your lap.  

There’s butter.  There’s cheese.  There’s roots and veggies.  All the drama and intrigue you could want from one little box grater.  

aaaand… seriously… thanks for playing along.  I realize I’m ridiculous. 

First things first: carrots.  

These are Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Dulce de Leche Frosting.  These are best when unwrapped and shoved into your face.  

Carrot Cake Pancakes with Cream Cheese Spread.  Totally and completely  out of control.  

Cheese.  Just say yes.  

Homemade pizza and a movie rental with your honey… just the best night ever.  Take note. 

Cheddar Black Pepper Biscuits.  Because biscuits are the answer to every problem.  

Grated greens and roots for Zucchini Sweet Potato Bread.  It’s the goodness.  

While we have the zucchini out.   Pancakes.  Zucchini Pancakes. 

Take frozen butter to the box grater.  It’s a wonder in pie and scone dough.  It’s a secret weapon from me to you.  

This No Roll Pie Crust recipe I came up with… it’s dang amazing!

Oatmeal Raspberry Scones with cold grated butter.  Big, scoopable yum.  Do this. 

I have downright baffled myself.  

I may have mentioned that I’m moving this week.  Moving is… horrifying.  Yes, I’m being dramatic.  Please indulge me. 

Among the things that I found under my bed and in the dark recesses of my closet as I’ve been cleaning and packing are:

eight kitten stuffed animals. 

one medium sized bunny stuffed animal. 

three puppy stuffed animals.

….. WWWHHHHHYYYY?

one baby sock….  A. Baby.  Sock.  I have no baby.  Seriously… What the heck is going on here!?

a tiny rhinestone turtle toe ring.  Really?  

one sweater that gives my arms a rash.  I found out the hard way.  

one wooden bobble head turtle toy.  Why so many turtles hiding in my house?

and… a rock.  Because… yea.  A rock.

Take these Little Lemon Hazelnut Cakes as a token of my love, affection, and dwindling sanity.  

This recipe is like a secret weapon.  It’s super adaptable and always perfectly moist.  At its root, the cake is an easy buttermilk and oil cake that comes together with two bowls and a whisk.  I used hazelnut oil, but almond oil, walnut oil, or olive oil also work beautifully.  Also feel free to add any sort of citrus zest you like.  This recipe makes twelve tender and darling little cakes.  Go on.  Bake em.  I’ll just be over here in the corner losing my ever loving mind.  Don’t mind me. 

Little Lemon Hazelnut Cakes

     makes 12 little (cup)cakes

     recipe adapted ever so slightly from Jun Tan

     Print this Recipe!

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup hazelnut oil

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon white vinegar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

zest of one lemon

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.  Place a rack in the center of the oven.  Line a cupcake pan with 12 cupcake liners and set aside.  

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt.  In another medium bowl, whisk together hazelnut oil, buttermilk, egg, vinegar, vanilla extract and lemon zest.  Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients all at once.  Whisk together until just combined and no lumps remain.  Divide between twelve cupcake cups and bake for 18-22 minutes or until a tester inserted in the center of one of the little cakes comes out clean.  

Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes.  Remove from the pan to cool completely and top with an easy lemon glaze.  

Lemon glaze is simple 1 heaping cup of powdered sugar mixed with the juice of half a lemon and a dash of water or milk to reach your desired consistency.

This post could also be entitled:  

     Can’t Bake Now… I’m on the I-5.

     Joy the Driver and Lauren the Snack Coordinator

     Joy the Baker eats 6 pounds of Chex Mix between San Francisco and Portland

     or simply… Joy the Baker moves her sister from Los Angeles to Seattle in a Budget moving truck creatively nicknamed Budgie.  

It’s early Tuesday morning.  My Mom makes Lauren pose with her moving truck.  That’s not weird, right?  Not weird at all.  

The I-5 between Los Angeles and San Francisco.  Green, trees, produce and trucks.  

This is a picture of my sister driving.  Let me tell you why this picture is a small miracle.  

See, my sister just learned how to drive last week.  She got her license… last week.  She’s 26.  She was afraid to drive until… last week.  And now… here she is driving a moving truck at 80 miles an hour down the highway.  

I told her to slow down.  I told her to calm down.  I told her that there was no room to screw up.  I don’t think that helped. 

I snapped the picture during the whole 20 minutes that I let my sister drive between Los Angeles and Seattle.  It’s not that she’s a bad driver.  It’s more that I’m kinda a control freak when it comes to things like… my life and living.

I may not have let my sister drive, but I sure did let (make) her pump all of the gas.  Not her favorite part.  Fact.  

We stopped at Shasta Lake in Northern California to stand still and look at water and mountains.  

A self portrait seemed like a good idea.  All we got was bush and blurry eyebrows.  

We parked Budgie illegally.  We kinda just stopped her on the side of the road.  That’s cool, right? 

A cool 10 minutes beyond the sunshine of Shasta Lake we hit the snow.  We hit it hard.  Driving through the snow stressed out my Southern California self.  This was deeply disturbing to me.  

Lauren made me pull over so that she could jump around in the snow.  I was still stressed out until I saw her leaping, jumping and eventually falling into the snow.  Cute.  Super cute. 

We finally made it to Seattle.  I’d gone through a Costco size bag of Chex Mix, ungodly amounts of dried apricots… and there’s half of a strawberry cheesecake in the truck that I don’t want to talk about.  

Somewhere just outside of Portland I put my cranky pants on.  I was tired of driving.  I was tired of having to eat Chex Mix to stay awake, and I just wanted to be in the Seattle to drink the cup of coffee that I’d been waiting days and days for. 

We made it.   Thank heavens.  This is the view from my sister’s apartment.  

And then I took my cranky pants off, because I turned around and saw this face.  The darling face of my darling little sister standing in her very first apartment on the very first day in her new city.  I’m lucky to have been able to share this journey with her.  Sisters are friends forever… that’s what we tell each other… because it’s true.  

Then… we unpacked the truck.  It had its obscene moments.

To make up for those obscene moments, my sister bought me a latte and a doughnut from Top Pot.  Holy heck!  This set my world right.  

Sure I drove days and days to help my sister with her big move.  But maybe… a tiny itsy bitsy part of me was in it for the Seattle coffee… I ain’t gonna lie. 

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I’d really like to conjure up some useful information for you.  That would be nice, right?  I could tell you all about avocados.  Where they came from.  What a lovely shade of green they are.  Why they’re so expensive at the grocery store… you know, things like that.  

But you didn’t come here for boring old information… did you!?  

I didn’t think so.  

You came here  because you want me to admit to eating Pepperidge Farm Soft Bake Cookies…which is totally happening right now.  You came here because you want me to admit to rrreeeeaaaalllllyyyy wanting to watch the season finale of The Bachelor… it’s true… it’s a problem.  You came here because you want me to admit to wearing my big fluffy slipper socks.  The dreaded socks/shoes that will keep me single for eternity.  Well… I’m wearing them and I’m loving it.  

So there, friends.  It’s all out on the table.  Now can we talk about cake?  

I’ve baked with avocado before.  Remember the Vegan Chocolate Avocado Cake with Avocado Buttercream?  Yea… that was intense… and surprising… and bright green.  Amazing. 

I got my hands on another round of avocados and made some magic happen.  This recipe makes two glorious loaves of cake.  I’ve cut back on the butter and thrown in some ripe mashed avocados.  The batter is moistened with buttermilk and bakes up with a lovely golden top and faintly green center.  

Can you taste the avocado after the cake is baked?  Heck yes you can!  It’s subtle but distinct with a nice sweetness and a hint of crunch from cornmeal.  I love this pound cake.  It’s a home run.  

We served this pound cake for The Violet Hour supper brunch with  blood orange, pink grapefruit and pomelo segments and a lightly sweetened rose whipped cream.  Whoa!  Whole lotta yum. 

Avocado Pound Cake

     makes 2 9×4x3-inch loaves

     Print this Recipe!

3 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup yellow cornmeal

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

3 cups sugar

4 large eggs

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

3/4 cup buttermilk

flesh of 1 1/2 ripe avocados, just over a cup to a cup and a half of avocado, mashed

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Grease and flour two loaf pans and set aside.  

In a medium sized bowl, sift together flour, cornmeal, salt, baking powder and baking soda.  Set aside.  Set the four eggs out on the counter to come to room temperature while you beat the butter and sugar.  

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter on medium speed until softened and pliable.  Add the sugar and beat until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes.  Add the avocado and beat another minute to incorporate.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl to ensure that everything is thoroughly mixed.  

Add the eggs one at a time, beating 1 minute after the addition of each egg.  Beat in vanilla extract.  

Reduce the mixer speed to low and add half of the flour mixture, all of the buttermilk, and then the rest of the flour mixture.  Beat just until combined.  

Divide the dough between the two loaf pans and place in the oven.  Turn the oven down to 325 degrees F.   Bake for 40-45 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the center of the cakes comes out clean.  I checked my cakes every ten minutes or so after the 30 minute mark.   Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then invert onto a cooling rack to cool completely.

Three things.  Can I tell you three things?  Do you mind getting all up in my business for the next several minutes of your life?

Remember two short weeks ago when I was moaning and groaning about not living in the cool part of town?  I wanted to live in a loft downtown despite my disapproving pocketbook.  

Remember the part where I cleaned my kitchen and waxed on and on about appreciating the things you have…. that the grass isn’t always greener… remember I said all that?  Well… I changed my mind.  I’m moving to a loft downtown.  

I’m sharing my space with new people and I have turquoise walls.  And I have no idea how to arrange and decorate my room.  Seriously.  I need help.  I’m lost.  Can we trade room design for baking lessons?  SOS.

My little sister… the girl my heart beats for… is moving to Seattle.  We’re driving from Los Angeles to Seattle this week.  Sister road trip!  I’m looking forward to Red Vines and french fries… believe this.   If you see a giant UHaul truck puttering up the California interstate this week, please just have kindness in your heart when you cut us off.  Seattle or bust.

On the Lamb held a Violet Hour supper brunch.  

There was Creme Fraiche Quiche.

Can you see my face back there eagerly grasping for something?  What am I reaching for with such elation?  

Money… I wish I were kidding.  

Here is a fact about trying hard to live the dream with On the Lamb (the pop-up events and catering firm my friends and I started)… no one ever tells you how much gosh-dang-holy-heck-geeeeeez work it is.  My ankles are sore just thinking about it. But really… the excitement, the uncertainty, the new friends, the creativity, the occasional punching match… I wouldn’t trade it.  The oil burns and sore ankles are all so quickly mended when I remember that I’m trying to live my best life and I’m doing it with my two best friends… and all of these new friends that we get to feed!  

Thank you to Sandy and Jason of Enid and Edgar.

Thank you to Dan for taking such lovely photographs.  

Thank you to… you, for being so loyal and lovely and so… here.  

Ok.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have housewife tendencies.  It’s true.  Don’t judge me… that would be rude.

I’ve tried to ignore these urges.  I’ve tried to pass it off as a phase… but really?  This can’t go on.  I’m going to have to own my housewife tendencies.  Now seems like as good a time as ever to fess up. 

See… yesterday afternoon I put on my frilly 1950’s apron, pulled my hair back, put on my giant fake pearl earrings and made homemade dinner rolls.  The apron and pearls are essential, so is a cigarette and a stiff cocktail if I’m to believe what I see on Mad Men.  

So there I am in my kitchen, proudly clad in my housewife gear, hand kneading some pretty sexy roll dough, thinking I’ve got it pretty kush when I realize that my housewife fantasy is missing two things… a… um… er… husband… and mud covered children that I have to chase around the house to get into the bath.  

So.  Ok.  Fine.  My housewife tendencies are really just an excuse for me to play dress up for an afternoon.  And rolls and butter?  Just the awesome perk of my extended dress up games.

Pretty pretty dinner rolls.  This luscious dough comes together with just ten minutes of hand kneading.  They’re buttery and sweet, and have some thickness and weight without being dry and boring.  They’re so lovely.  You’ll feel all sorts of impressed with your abilities.  

This recipe is a classic.  Parker House Rolls are said to have originated in the 1870’s (whaaaat!?) at the Parker House Hotel in Boston.  Old school. 

keepin’ it real.

Parker House Rolls

     recipe from The Gourmet Cookbook

     makes 20 rolls

     Print this Recipe!

3 tablespoons warm water (105 to 115 degrees F) 

3 tablespoons sugar

1 (1/4-ounce) package (2 1/2 teaspoons) active dry yeast

1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter

1 cup whole milk

2 cups bread flour

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

3/4 – 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Stir together warm water, 1 tablespoons sugar and yeast in a small bowl until yeast in dissolved.  Let stand until foamy, about five minutes.  If the mixture does not foam up, throw it out and start over with different yeast.  Foam means that the yeast is livin’.  

Melt 3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) butter in a small saucepan.  Add the milk and heat until lukewarm.  Pour into a large bowl and add yeast mixture, remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar, bread flour, and salt.  Stir with a wooden spoon until just combined.  

Stir in 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, dump out onto a clean work surface and begin to bring the dough together into a ball.  If your dough is too sticky to handle, add up to 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is just slightly sticky.  

Knead dough until a smooth and elastic dough begins to form, adding more all-purpose flour as needed.  The dough will be smooth, satiny and just slightly sticky after 10 minutes.  Good job!  Form dough into a ball and place in a large, buttered bowl, turning the dough so that the entire ball is covered.  Cover with plastic wrap and a towel and let rest n a warm, draft free place until doubled in size, about 1 hour.  

Butter a 9×13-inch baking pan.  Divide dough into 20 equal pieces.  Roll each one into a ball and arrange evenly in 4 rows of 5 in a baking pan.  Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm, draft free place until almost doubled in size, about 45 minutes.  

Using a floured chopstick or the edge of a ruler, make a deep crease down the center of each row of rolls.  Let rolls rise, loosely covered for 15 minutes.  

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F and place a rack in the center of the oven.  

Melt the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and cool slightly.  Brush the tops of the rolls with butter and place in the oven for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown.  Cool rolls in the pan for 5 minutes then remove and serve warm.  Reheat rolls wrapped in foil in a 375 degree oven if you’d like to eat them the next day with butter and jam.  Serious yum.

Let’s talk about this weekend’s adventures.  There were highways, gas stations and bridges.  I might have a made friends out of strangers although there was too much wine to be clear on that.  Aaaaand!  I taught my first cooking class.  In Sonoma.  That happened.  

Take a peek!

I spent an evening in and around San Francisco.  The Golden Gate Bridge.  It chokes me up.  It makes me a little teary eyed.  It’s just a bridge.  Why would a bridge make me want to cry?  Weirdo.

I stayed at a lovely resort tucked just behind the Golden Gate Bridge.  I got lost trying to find it.  So lost.  But look at this place?  Doesn’t it look like where you’d want to fall in love with Ryan Gosling if you were Rachel McAdams?  

Long grass.  It’s got character.  

Birds.  Boats and buildings.  

I spent the rest of the evening in the city without my camera.  If you are two of the three women that were with me that night… you should be glad I didn’t have my camera.  I’m just sayin.  Wow.  Wine.  Wow.  We all have our ‘too much wine’  moments.  I remember mine:  in front of The Pioneer Woman and Steamy Kitchen.  Oops. 

I made my way to Ramekins in Sonoma.  Above is James.  He was my hype man.  He said nice things and introduced me to the class.  Awesome.  Thank you. 

The kitchen at Ramekins is gorgeous.  My kitchen is never this organized.  

Nor does it ever have this many people in it.  

Cameron is making Creme Fraiche Quiche.  She’s a dear. 

Jessica is peppering some biscuits.  Rad.  

Danielle is cutting biscuits.  Nice form. 

Jessica brought Tom.  He’s the silent type.   He got his hands dirty.  

Everyone gathered ’round the griddle making pancakes for themselves.  I’m pretty sure I’ve found heaven.  

Meet Annie.  She’s the most dear, lovely and gracious lady I’ve ever met.  Annie, thanks for your endless help and support with this class.  Thanks for the hospitality and for loving macarons enough to stop a taxi.  You’re great.  

And… this is what the drive home after a crazy weekend looks like…

… but this is what if feels like.  And.  Yes.  I did sing every Fiona Apple song I know on the drive home.  I also ate a cheeseburger.  And chocolate.  

Thank you to all of you shining people who came out to Ramekins for my first baking class.  Big hugs of appreciation to the fine folk at Ramekins who made my class run like an absolute dream.  I’ll be back.  April. 

I do this thing when I’m filled to the brim with tasks and opportunities and responsibilities and stresses…. I add more.  I really just pile it on.  I somehow think that adding new responsibilities and stresses will erase the ones I’ve already loaded on my shoulders.  

It’s illogical.  It’s a terrible idea.  It’s downright crazytown.  

I’m in Crazytown and I’m about to move into Lost My Marblesville.  Someone please send a straight jacket.  

In related news, I’ve decided to move into a loft in downtown Los Angeles.  I’m driving to Seattle in a Uhaul next week with my little sister… pray for us.  Aaaand I’m teaching my first cooking class in Sonoma this weekend!  

More on all of these things soon.  For now… here’s what I’m stress eating.. no joke.

Mini Chocolate Dipped Bananas rolled in crushed honey roasted peanuts.  If you really commit to your stress… I mean, really just get in there and wallow in it… I’m sure you can down a cool seven bananas in no time.  Just.  Like.  Me.  

Half spongy souffle cake, half warm pudding, all lemony goodness.  Lemon Souffle Cake.  Maybe I ate this whole souffle right out of the pie pan.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But… yea, definitely.  That totally happened. 

I have bathed in this Buttermilk Ranch Dressing.  

I like to eat brownies right out of the freezer.  Dense, cold chocolate cake with melty frozen marshmallows?  Yea… I never said I was normal.  S’mores Brownies.  Friends for life. 

Giant Vanilla Sugar Cookies.  There’s nothing like a cup of tea and a cookie the size of your face to wash your troubles away.   Dreamy.

Note:  Am I encouraging emotional overeating with this post?  No.  Yes… No.  Well… maybe a little.  I’m half kidding, half overcommitted and definitely stuffing cookies in my face at every opportunity.  That’s just the honest truth.  I hope you can handle it.