Joy the Baker

I’ve got a guilty conscience.  Here’s a little peek inside:

Dear Coworker David,  

Tonight when you were detailing the twenty one shots you had for your twenty first birthday, I stopped listening at about shot number four… the Raging Bull I think you said.  How do you remember all twenty one shots after twenty one shots anyway!?   Sheeesh!  Though I was smiling and nodding tonight, I heard not a word you said.  True. 

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

Is it noisy down there?  Does it seems sometimes like I’m stomping around on my second floor apartment floors?  Probably.  I am.  I can have some heavy feet from time to time.  Do I do it on purpose?  Sometimes.  Yes.  To be fair, I do this because, as you know, I left cupcakes on your doorstep for you one afternoon and I watched you discover them and take them to the dumpster to throw away.  I saw you do that.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  

Dearest Friend (pssst!… that’s you),

Sometimes I make recipes vegan simply because I’m out of eggs and/or butter.  It’s true.  A severe and persisting egg shortage in my house was the inspiration for the Vegan Pumpkin Bread.  If you’re vegan, you’re probably annoyed.  That’s ok.  I can be annoying.  If you’re not vegan, you’re probably happy to know that you can still bake up some wonders without eggs and butter.  Your call.  

Love,

Joy the Baker

Read more »

I’m putting on an orange leotard tomorrow.  An orange leotard. 

I’m also putting on bright blue leggings tomorrow.. and white leg warmers… and sweat bands.  

I’m going to encourage the big, puffy, curly hair that I spend most days trying to tame.  Yes, there will be blue eye shadow.

I’m going to step out in the world tomorrow as an 80’s aerobics instructor.  The only little hitch?  That I actually have to step out of the house in a skin tight orange leotard and skin tight blue leggings.  Oooh lordy.  Whose idea was it to take the Halloween celebration beyond my solo living room dance parties?  Yeeps!  

Ironically, the only thing making me feel better about my very bright and very tight 80’s debut are these S’mores Icebox Candy Bars.  There are fifteen in a batch and I’ve worked through four just writing this post.  Send help.  Orange leotard, people…. send help. 

Read more »

Today’s Maple Pecan Muffins are dedicated to Tracey.  

Tracey, you are dear and darling… and 15, which is equal parts hard and rad, I know.  

Let me tell you a little about Tracey.  Tracey had her 15th birthday last week.  Tracey’s best friend Maggie sent me a pretty precious email asking me if I would send Tracey an autographed picture of myself for her birthday.  See,  Tracey is a great baker and a huuuuge fan of my site.  

I’m not the sort to have pictures of myself to autograph on hand… that would be totally weird,  so I sent Tracey a little birthday gift and handwritten note.  Easy enough, right?   In return Tracey sent me a very long, very excited, exceedingly adorable email to thank me for her birthday present.  Seriously friends… this girl is priceless.  

After reading Tracey’s email a handful of times (it was packed to the gills with information), here are a few things I want you to know about my new friend:

Tracey makes a mean lemon pound cake with blueberry sauce.  

Tracey almost set her house ablaze trying to make these doughnuts.  

Tracey is obsessed with muffins… and feeds them to her dog.  Let’s all just pretend like that’s normal.  

Tracey got a “Tracey the Baker” apron for her birthday.  Clearly I have competition. 

By sharing loads homemade cookies, Tracey is well on her way to becoming the most popular girl in school.  Don’t get too popular Tracey… it might be overrated.    

Tracey giggles a lot… not in emails, but this is just something I’ve surmised from being 15 and eating a lot of sugar once upon a time.

Tracey?  Is that Jesus peeking over your shoulder on your fridge there?  If so… awesome.  If not… awkward. 

Tracey these muffins are my little shout out to you because it seems like you get as excited about eggs and butter and sugar and flour as I do.  That makes me happy. Thank you. 

Read more »

Persimmon Pudding, from tree to table.  

Step One:  Find a neighbor with a gorgeous, almost cartoon like persimmon tree.  Ask your Mom to help you pick persimmons… Mom always likes to help.

Step Two:  Entice neighbor and Mamabear with the promise of fresh baked persimmon pudding if you’re granted access to their persimmon tree.  

Step Three:  Try this phrase, “Hey Neighbor!  I think you’re just swell.  Can I borrow a ladder?  That’s one tall tree.  Sweet… thanks.”

Step Four:  If you decide to sneak a peek into the other neighbor’s yard while you’re up on that ladder picking persimmons… maybe you’ll want to be more subtle than my mother.  I’m just sayin…

Step Five:  Pick the ripest, softest persimmons.  Way to be, Mom!

Step Six:  Carefully place super ripe persimmons in bag to cart off home, thanking your neighbors Dan and Libby for their ladder and their abundant tree. 

Step Seven:  If you don’t happen to have a neighbor with a persimmon tree, I’m betting that the local farmer’s market will have some gorgeous Hachiya persimmons for you this time of year…. and you won’t need a ladder. 

Step Eight:  Call your favorite Aunt from Indiana and ask her to promptly send you all of the persimmon recipes she owns… that will be a lot.  Seriously.  Thanks Judy!

Read more »

Autumn To-Do List

Buy boots.  Wear new boots at every waking moment.  

Bust out the scarves and go for it.  Two at a time?  Fine by me! 

Make Dad’s Sweet Potato Pie.  I know… I’ve been talking about this for ages.  I need to shut my trap and get bakin’ already.

Don’t get Swine Flu, that would be seriously lame. 

Is it time for flannel sheets?  Well.. is the Pope Catholic?  Heck yes!

Eat Roasted Pumpkin Soup by the truckload.  Do it.  Done.  

Read more »

I love pancakes.

Maybe you don’t believe me.  Maybe you need proof.  

How about a list of the ways in which I totally love love love pancakes?

Perhaps you can find your deep rooted love for pancakes this weekend with one of these fine recipes.  

Milk Chocolate Buttermilk Pancakes

Dad’s Buttermilk Pancakes

Vegan Jam Swirl Pancakes

Everything But the Blueberry Pancakes

Gingerbread Pancakes…

Whole Wheat Banana Walnut Pancakes, one of my all time favorites. 

Need more proof of my pancake love?  Ok!

Read more »

Honey Roasted Plums with Fresh Thyme and Greek Yogurt

This weekend I want out!  Out of the kitchen and into a pool.  Out of these clothes and into a bathing suit.  Out of this computer and into a poolside book and cocktail situation.

I want you out too.  I don’t want you in the kitchen all weekend.  Don’t you think your time would be much better spent in sunglasses and a big floppy hat with your feet up by the pool!?  Good.  I’m glad we agree.

If you’re celebrating the 4th of July this weekend, be sure to say things like “Go America!” and watch colors explode in the sky if you can.  It’s fun.

If you’re not celebrating America’s independence… well heck… I think a weekend by the pool is still in order.  You just don’t have to scream things like “Go America!” unless you really want to.

Here are the recipes that will keep you out of all day kitchen adventures and magically keep your bellies satisfied.

Let us explore.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

Read more »

We used to be one of those families that would drive out to the cemetery on Sunday afternoon after church service.  I can remember chasing my sister around the cemetery slopes, slipping on the moist grass in my church shoes and getting bright green stains on my Sunday dress while my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents sat around our family graves exchanging stories.

The bright afternoon sun, the way the wind whipped over the rounded hills of the cemetery, and hearing my family talk and laugh about our family who had passed… it’s one of those super calming childhood memories that I keep tucked away, and pull out on days like today.  The remembering is important.

Today it feels good to remember all of the men, women and families who have sacrificed so much for our country.  While thanking you may seem trite, I mean it from way down on the inside.  Thank you.

This little bee sure is living large in my one pot spring garden!

But enough about spring.  Spring is so… um, last season?  No… not exactly.

Let’s talk about summer!  What’s your favorite way to kick off summer?

Me?  My favorite way to greet summer is to have a rip roarin’ good time Memorial Day Weekend!

I’m diving into this one, two, THREE day weekend by celebrating my birthday and throwing down with my family in the kitchen.  My Dad is making chicken and waffles.  Holy heck!  Chicken and waffles will be  followed promptly by family board games and… nap time.  What could be better?  A pool!?  You’re right!  How is it that I don’t have a friend with a pool in this town!?

My weekend will be full of family, fun and loads of kitchen time.

I hope that you’re able to take time this weekend to enjoy your families.  Maybe you’ll even have a moment to hop in the kitchen and throw together a late breakfast or gorgeous cake.  Do it… it’s important.

Here’s some inspiration.

Read more »

Before I made this cake on Sunday afternoon, I sat down with a nice, tall root beer float.  Sure, it was 10:30 in the morning.  I suppose that technically that means I had a root beer float for breakfast.  That’s one of the great thing about being an adult, you can have a float for breakfast with no resistance.

Something about a root beet float puts me on a conveyor belt back to some really random childhood memories.  The taste, the bubbles, the increasingly creamy soda… it take me back to constantly skinned knees, playing in a beat-up old red wagon with my sister, and sitting in front of an old black and white television watching baseball with my grandfather.  Funny what a little ice cream and soda can do in your brain, right?

But cake!?  Root Beet Float Cake?  I have so many questions.  Will it have the same memory inducing effects as the real deal?  Is that asking too much?  Wait, is this cake chocolate or root beer?  Can I eat it for breakfast?  Will it change my life for the better?

Answers and cake, just a click away.

Read more »

When it comes time for a little human to call me Mom, there are several things I hope for.  Here are a few of those hopes:

I hope that I’ll no longer run screaming from the room at the sight of a spider.  Mom has to take care of the spider… that’s sort of part of the deal as Mom, right?  Maybe can I always get away with saying, “Let’s go get Daddy to take care of that spider.”  I hope that works.

I hope that a deep affection for pickles and pancakes, though not necessarily on the same plate, is hereditary.

I hope that I have as good a pair of Mom Hands as my mom.

Most importantly, I hope that I create as patient and loving, supportive and hilarious a family as was provided for me.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who have the patience and care to raise new, happy, and lovely people in the world.

Here’s some dreamy Raspberry Lemonade, and all sort sof recipes that you might consider making for your mom and family this weekend.

Read more »

I’ll be the first to admit that I had some pretty ugly teenage years.

Sure. I had awkward limbs, a face full of acne, and was otherwise unfortunate looking, but I’m talking about what an utter brat I was for a solid two (plus) years.

Did you go through some seriously bratty years?  Just say yes.  We’ve all been there, right?  If you try to tell me you were a perfect angel, I just won’t believe you.

I seem to remember the distinct feeling that I knew everything there was to know about the world at the ripe old age of fifteen.  I thought most everything was beyond “annoying”, and I used that word… to death.  If eye rolling were an Olympic sport… gold medal… me.

I also had this obnoxious habit of assuming that everything that belonged to my mother, somehow also belonged to me.  From her favorite stationary, to her hidden stash of chocolates and the entire contents of her jewelry box, I acted as though it was all up for grabs.  Terrible, right?  Only when I was out in the world trying to save up my pennies to buy myself a nice box of tea, or my favorite rose lotion, did I realize that my mom deserved to have her treats without my mittens all up in them.

While I can take my obnoxious teenage years back, I suppose my real penance will come when my own teenage daughter pillages my valuables.  Until that joyous time, here’s what I’m going to do:  I’m going to give one of you a jar of beautiful French Lavender Honey.

Leave me a comment in this post and tell me this:

Tell me how your mom is spectacular, despite your possible teenage indiscretions.

I know a lot of you are moms, tell me what makes it all worthwhile.

I’d really like for this lovely honey to go to a Mom… it is, after all, Mother’s Day.  Maybe that means you’re a hard working Mom and need a tea and toast break.  Maybe that means you win this honey and give it to your Mom as a “thanks for being awesome” gift.

Comments close Thursday at midnight Pacific Standard Time and the winner will be chosen by the Random Number Generator.  Happy Mother’s Day!

I was notorious in my family for being the child that could only be comforted by my mother.

Most playful family weekends, the scene went something like this:  I’d be in the backyard playing with my little sister, my dad and Scamper, the family dog on our creaky, rusted and awesomely fun swing set.  My favorite move was to swing as high as I could, count to three with my sister and jump out of the swings onto the grass.  Sounds innocent enough, but I was always getting my little girl fingers stuck in the chains of the swing as I dismounted.

I’d hit the ground and look at my dad with the silent cry face… the face kids give their parents before the completely lose it and burst into tears.  My dad would invariable come over and try to talk me out of losing it, but I was already halfway into the ugly cry by then.  It was then that no one but my mom could handle the cajoling and kissing of my finger.  I’d run into the house, screaming like a maniac and clutching my (not even bleeding) finger, looking for my mother who had found just a few moments peace to take a shower or a short nap.  I’d force myself into her lap, lift the offending, pained finger, and wait for the mom comfort to blanket me.  So good.

Come to think of it, that swing set caused as many injuries as it did smiles.

Come to think of it, jumping off the swing set is always worth the hurt finger.

Come to think of it, this pudding has much the same healing qualities as my mom’s lap.

Read more »

Did you have a great weekend?  Have you woken up with a lingering Easter candy tummy ache?  Do you still have confetti everywhere from the Cascarones?  Yea?  Me too.  I think I might have an Easter sugar hangover… I’m not proud.    Here’s a look at what Easter looks like when you combine a cupcake contest with a steady stream of champagne, a dog named Bunny and a confetti filled egg massacre.

Read more »

Happy Easter from vintage Joy the Baker.

Oooooh 1994… thanks for the memories.

There are a few things I’d like you to take note of in the photo.

-Yes, my hair is comically triangle shaped and I am trying to rock curly bangs.

- Yes, I made a bunny cake decorated with festive jelly beans.

-Take a look at that foil lined baking sheet.  I decorated it with Easter stickers.  Oh my.

- That’s my Dad standing in the doorway.  I like to think that he’s proudly standing there watching his daughter pose with a pretty stellar cake.  He might just be looking at my unfortunate hair.  Hm….

Happy Easter!

Things that are awesome and things that are not awesome; an incomplete list.

Things that are awesome:

Summer dresses that look great with summer ponytails.

Bathing suits + Palm Springs + Rented Summer House + Sun Screen + Giant Sun Glasses + Mojitos x Infinity = Awesome.

Big, fat bumble bees… come on, they’re precious.

Pulling this beautiful Dutch Baby out of the oven on Easter morning,  sprinkling it with orange sugar and feeling like Julia Child… that’s awesome.

Things that are NOT awesome:

Otherwise perfect vintage dresses that are half a size too small.

Bathing suit shopping… exactly no one likes that, and why on earth are my legs so white!?

Bee stings on the butt.  It happens people.  It really happens.

Not pulling this Dutch Baby out of the oven on Easter morning… that’s not awesome at all.

Read more »

Dear Spring,

You’re a great season.  In fact, you’re my favorite season of all.  Something about the orange blossoms dotting my neighborhood, and the barely warm evening sun just makes me want to squeeze you with gratitude.

Great job with all the tulips.  Excellent work with all the sweet peas.  Don’t even get me started on the asparagus…. wow!

There’s just a few things I thought you might consider… just in the interest of being the best season ever, and kicking every other season right in the backside.

First, your color palette.  Have you ever considered switching it up?  All the pastels remind me of bad baby shower party games.  Plus, you’re edgier than that Spring.  Show those other seasons what’s what.  Have you considered a fresh neon palate?  It might work wonders for your image.

Second,  can you please work on making purple the new grey this season?

Lastly,  every year when you come to town, I end up in the candy aisle at the grocery store buying giant bags of chocolate egg-shaped candies.  After I’ve mistakenly make these chocolate goodies a meal, I’m forced the throw the remainder in the trash and pour dish soap on them, keeping myself from sleep-eating them in the middle of the night.  While this may seem like more of a personal issue, your attention to this matter would still be much appreciated.

Also Spring, I made you meringues.

Stay Sweet,

Joy the Baker

Read more »

Three things are true.  Let’s go over some facts.

I’m gullible.  I prefer to think of it as less naive and more trusting.  If you tell me something, in all likelihood, I’ll believe you.  For this reason, let’s keep the April foolery to a minimum this morning.  It’s not really my style, and chances are, if you try to fool me with falsehoods or pranks today, it’ll work.  Let’s not and say we did.

This day reminds me of one particular April Fool’s Day many years back.   I thought playing a prank on my little sister would be ripe with comedy.  It involved a toilet seat, petroleum jelly, and her resulting slippery bum.  As I giggled with success, my little sister busted out her fake (but oh so convincing) cry and I was in a heap of trouble with Mom.  She’s brilliant with the fake cry… award winning.  Well played little sister… I see how you turned that around… Well played.

Lastly, and this is no petroleum jelly joke-  I was featured in the London Times this week!  Check out the interview and the photos… and say hello to London.  Normally I’d tell you how being in the London Times makes me want to yell, and jump and otherwise spaz with excitement.. but I’m trying to play it cool.  You know.. like wearing sunglasses at night, or wearing Converse sneakers with a fancy dress, or putting ham and mustard in cookies…. cool.  Let’s play it cool.

Read more »

This morning I stood under a blossoming orange tree that hummed with honey bees.  I found my way under this tree after a walk through my neighborhood on one of those mornings that couldn’t decide if it wanted to laugh or cry.

The sidewalk showed evidence of midnight rain.  The smell of rain on asphault… ooh so perfectly dreamy.  The sky, bright blue with clusters of pure white and angry grey clouds.

The air was just cold enough to chill me through my sweater and carried the scent of orange blossoms nearly a block.  That’s the scene that lead me, arms hugging my chest, to the bee humming orange tree, live with blossoms and heavy with fruit.

The scene screamed of Spring.

Standing there under that tree, it felt like life was just bursting out into the world.  What a pure expression of life and beauty that tree was this morning.

Happy Spring.

Have some life… enjoy it!

Read more »

Holy WOW, people!!

Where the heck did you all come from!?  I had no idea so many of you were sneaking around.  I’m glad I could coax you out of the shadows with a giveaway. I only wish I had more bags to give away… Stick around, I’ve got more stuff to give.  For reals.

In the mean time, how about a little Valentine inspired treat?  When I think of Valentine’s Day, I usually want to run and hide.  Red roses, pink boxes of candy, cheap champagne… count me way way way way out.  The one thing about Valentine’s day I can support is homemade heart shaped treats.

And so, with the charmingly kitchy elements of Valentine’s Day in mind, I bring you Heart Shaped Dipped Krispies.

Read more »