Ok.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have housewife tendencies.  It’s true.  Don’t judge me… that would be rude.

I’ve tried to ignore these urges.  I’ve tried to pass it off as a phase… but really?  This can’t go on.  I’m going to have to own my housewife tendencies.  Now seems like as good a time as ever to fess up. 

See… yesterday afternoon I put on my frilly 1950’s apron, pulled my hair back, put on my giant fake pearl earrings and made homemade dinner rolls.  The apron and pearls are essential, so is a cigarette and a stiff cocktail if I’m to believe what I see on Mad Men.  

So there I am in my kitchen, proudly clad in my housewife gear, hand kneading some pretty sexy roll dough, thinking I’ve got it pretty kush when I realize that my housewife fantasy is missing two things… a… um… er… husband… and mud covered children that I have to chase around the house to get into the bath.  

So.  Ok.  Fine.  My housewife tendencies are really just an excuse for me to play dress up for an afternoon.  And rolls and butter?  Just the awesome perk of my extended dress up games.

Pretty pretty dinner rolls.  This luscious dough comes together with just ten minutes of hand kneading.  They’re buttery and sweet, and have some thickness and weight without being dry and boring.  They’re so lovely.  You’ll feel all sorts of impressed with your abilities.  

This recipe is a classic.  Parker House Rolls are said to have originated in the 1870’s (whaaaat!?) at the Parker House Hotel in Boston.  Old school. 

keepin’ it real.

Parker House Rolls

     recipe from The Gourmet Cookbook

     makes 20 rolls

     Print this Recipe!

3 tablespoons warm water (105 to 115 degrees F) 

3 tablespoons sugar

1 (1/4-ounce) package (2 1/2 teaspoons) active dry yeast

1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter

1 cup whole milk

2 cups bread flour

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

3/4 – 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Stir together warm water, 1 tablespoons sugar and yeast in a small bowl until yeast in dissolved.  Let stand until foamy, about five minutes.  If the mixture does not foam up, throw it out and start over with different yeast.  Foam means that the yeast is livin’.  

Melt 3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) butter in a small saucepan.  Add the milk and heat until lukewarm.  Pour into a large bowl and add yeast mixture, remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar, bread flour, and salt.  Stir with a wooden spoon until just combined.  

Stir in 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, dump out onto a clean work surface and begin to bring the dough together into a ball.  If your dough is too sticky to handle, add up to 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is just slightly sticky.  

Knead dough until a smooth and elastic dough begins to form, adding more all-purpose flour as needed.  The dough will be smooth, satiny and just slightly sticky after 10 minutes.  Good job!  Form dough into a ball and place in a large, buttered bowl, turning the dough so that the entire ball is covered.  Cover with plastic wrap and a towel and let rest n a warm, draft free place until doubled in size, about 1 hour.  

Butter a 9×13-inch baking pan.  Divide dough into 20 equal pieces.  Roll each one into a ball and arrange evenly in 4 rows of 5 in a baking pan.  Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm, draft free place until almost doubled in size, about 45 minutes.  

Using a floured chopstick or the edge of a ruler, make a deep crease down the center of each row of rolls.  Let rolls rise, loosely covered for 15 minutes.  

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F and place a rack in the center of the oven.  

Melt the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and cool slightly.  Brush the tops of the rolls with butter and place in the oven for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown.  Cool rolls in the pan for 5 minutes then remove and serve warm.  Reheat rolls wrapped in foil in a 375 degree oven if you’d like to eat them the next day with butter and jam.  Serious yum.

Sometimes life feels like layers of complications.  Like taxes and traffic and cavities and getting laid off are all piled high into one smelly sandwich that you’re supposed to eat for lunch.  Really…?  Worst sandwich ever.  Do not want. 

Complicated.  Yea.  It happens to you.  It happens to me.  

Luckily there’s… bread.  And thank the holy heavens for butter.  

Bread and butter.  Yes.  A post about bread and butter.  Perhaps the most beautiful and uncomplicated thing you can put into your face.  Don’t fight me on this one.  That would only make things more complicated.  Go and eat.  Bread and butter. 

And yes… I burnt the bottom of my bread a bit.  These things happen. 

This is a pretty foolproof bread recipe.  Don’t worry.  If you’re intimidated by yeast and bread baking you might consider freeing yourself of that fear with this recipe.  Really… all you need is time… sometimes that’s the hardest ingredient to come by.  Take a lazy weekend afternoon and give this bread a try.  It’s worth the effort just to make your house smell like fresh baked bread.  Trust. 

Two Crusty Round Loaves

     I followed the recipe I found from Jaden of Steamy Kitchen

     Print this Recipe!

4 cups bread flour (the higher gluten content in important)

2 teaspoons active dry yeast

2 teaspoons salt

1 1/2 cups warm water

Measure out 1/4 cup of bread flour and reserve a the clean counter top.  Place the remaining 3 3/4 cup bread flour in the bowl of a stand mixer fit with a paddle attachment.  Measure the salt and place on one side of the flour and add the yeast to the opposite side of the flour.  Pour the warm water in the middle and mix on low speed (with the paddle attachment) until the dough just comes together.  

When the dough forms a mass, switch to the dough hook and mix on medium speed for 2 minutes.  Dough should clear the sides but may stick to the bottom a bit.  If you feel like the dough is too sticky or too dry, feel free to add a touch more water or flour by the tablespoonful.  After 2 minutes, let the dough rest for five minutes.

After the five minute rest, mix the dough again for 3 minutes.   Place the dough on the counter and, using the 1/4 cup of bread flour we reserved in the beginning, hand knead the dough.  You may not need to incorporate the entire 1/4 cup.  If the dough feels firm and solid enough, just knead for a few minutes and prepare it to rest.  You should have a satiny, smooth compact ball.  

Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl, and turn the dough over to coat the entire dough lightly in oil.  Cover with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel and place in a warm spot to rest for 1 1/2 hours.  The dough should double in size.  Remove from the bowl, punch down and reform into a ball.  Return to the bowl, cover and allow to rest for another 30 minutes.

After the second short rest, place the dough on a lightly floured surface and cut into 2 pieces.  Form each piece into a smooth, round ball, tucking any haggard edges on the underside of the dough.  Leave to rest, covered with a damp cloth, on the lightly floured surface for 45 minutes to a hour.  

During the last 20 minutes of the resting period, preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.  Place a baking rack in the lower third of the oven and leave either a baking stone or an upside down baking sheet in the oven to heat as well.  

Just before the boules are set to go in the oven, slash the top of the loaves with 2 to 4 slashes, using a sharp knife.  This will allow the bread to expand in the oven.  Remove the super hot baking sheet from the oven.  Carefully transfer the dough onto the baking sheets and return to the oven.  

Here’s some fun!  Just after you put the bread in the oven, take 1/4 cup of water, open the oven door, quickly poor the water onto the hot oven floor and immediately close the oven door.  We’re creating steam here people… it’s exciting.  Wait 2 minutes and repeat the process.  

Bake loaves for 20-25 minutes.  They’ll be golden and gorgeous.  Remove from the oven and insert a thermometer.  The temperature should be between 190 to 210 degrees F.  

Here’s the hard part:  let the bread cool completely before slicing.  

You did it!  Now where’s the butter!?

It would seem that you can throw just about anything into an 8×4-inch loaf pan and have some sweet smellin’ magic come out of your kitchen after an hour or so.  What’s more, pulling a beautifully risen quick bread out of the oven is sure to make you feel like your a prime-time, super legit baker.  

Here’s a peek at my favorite quick bread recipes.  

Oh!  Happy Wednesday to you.  Also… you look pretty today.  I like what you did with your hair.  

Low Fat Oatmeal Banana Bread.  Still moist.  Still all sorts of delicious.  I even counted the Weight Watchers points on this one.  Whaaaat!?  Yea.  That happened. 

Raspberry Almond Bread.  Yes, after it’s baked the bread turns a touch blue from the raspberries.  What’s the science on that?  Can we get Bill Nye the Science Guy on this one?

Zucchini Sweet Potato Bread.  Fresh grated zucchini.  Raw grated sweet potato.  It’s unique, full of spice and delicious.

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Banana Bread.  It’s chocolate.  It’s for breakfast.  If this offends you… I’m not sure what you’re doing here.  I mean that with love and respect.  

Lemon Drenched Lemon Cakes.  Ok… so maybe this is more of a pound cake recipe than a quick bread recipe.  This cake is too good to pass up.  Lemon plus lemon syrup plus cake.  I vote:  awesome. 

Honey Cranberry Cornmeal Quick Bread.  Have any leftover cranberries in your fridge?  Me too.  

Fresh Mango Bread.  I never would have thought to put fresh mango in bread until Dorie Greenspan told me it was ok.  

Vegan Pumpkin Walnut Bread.  Dense and moist.  Who says you need butter and eggs to make awesome bread!?  Whoever they are… kick ‘em in the toe.  They’re wrong. 

Persimmon Bread.  You are mighty strange persimmon bread, but I love you just the same. 

Honey Whole Wheat Pound Cake.  Dense.  Nutty.  It’ll charm your pants off.  Be prepared. 

I just stepped into my kitchen, turned on the light and was greeted by a massive amount of dirty dishes… not to mention a random stick of butter I left out this morning.  

I walked across the way to the dining room table to find all of the half addressed holiday cards I have yet to send. 

I shouldn’t even mention the atrocious pile of laundry that I’ve managed to ignore for weeks.  

But all is well.  All is juuuuust fine.  Why?  Because I’ve got my little nativity scene up.  My Christmas lights are twinkling.  I’ve hung silver snowflakes from my windows with scotch tape, and there are cranberry smells coming out of my kitchen.  At this rate, I can ignore the household atrocities well into the new year.  

Tart, fresh cranberries meet honey sweetened cornbread.  Throw in some walnuts, throw in a loaf pan or two… you’ve got one lovely, dense, lightly crunchy quick bread.  Great for breakfast.  Super for gift giving.  Wrap it up.  Freeze it up.  Butter it up.  This  bread is simple and comfortable.  

Thank you Anna for the gorgeous Wisconsin honey!  You’re a dream!

Honey Cranberry Cornmeal Quick Bread

     recipe adapted from Epucurious.com

     makes one large 9×5x3 loaf or two smaller loaves

     Print this Recipe!

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup white whole wheat flour (if you don’t have whole wheat flour, just use all-purpose flour)

1 cup medium or fine ground cornmeal (I used white cornmeal)

1/2 cup sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

1/2 cup honey (or pure maple syrup if you have it on hand)

1 1/4 cup buttermilk

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup chopped walnuts (reserving a few whole walnut halves for decorating the top)

1 heaping cup to 1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries

Arrange a rack in the center of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter and flour one 9×5x3-inch loaf pan, or two slightly smaller loaf pans.  I think mine are 8×4x3-inches and I made two smaller loaves.  Set aside the greased and floured loaf pans.  

In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, cornmeal, sugar, salt and baking powder.  

In a smaller bowl whisk together honey, eggs, buttermilk, melted butter and vanilla extract.  

Add the buttermilk mixture to the flour mixture and stir just until blended.  

Fold in the cranberries and walnuts.  

Divide batter between two smaller loaf pans or into one large loaf pan.  Spread evenly.  Add the whole walnut halves and place in preheated oven.  For smaller loaves bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the center of the loaf comes of clean.  For the larger loaf, bake for 60-70 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean.

Cool loaves in pan on a wire rack for 20 minutes.  Invert onto a plate or board.  Serve warm with butter or wrap and freeze for future you.

I’ve got a guilty conscience.  Here’s a little peek inside:

Dear Coworker David,  

Tonight when you were detailing the twenty one shots you had for your twenty first birthday, I stopped listening at about shot number four… the Raging Bull I think you said.  How do you remember all twenty one shots after twenty one shots anyway!?   Sheeesh!  Though I was smiling and nodding tonight, I heard not a word you said.  True. 

Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

Is it noisy down there?  Does it seems sometimes like I’m stomping around on my second floor apartment floors?  Probably.  I am.  I can have some heavy feet from time to time.  Do I do it on purpose?  Sometimes.  Yes.  To be fair, I do this because, as you know, I left cupcakes on your doorstep for you one afternoon and I watched you discover them and take them to the dumpster to throw away.  I saw you do that.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  

Dearest Friend (pssst!… that’s you),

Sometimes I make recipes vegan simply because I’m out of eggs and/or butter.  It’s true.  A severe and persisting egg shortage in my house was the inspiration for the Vegan Pumpkin Bread.  If you’re vegan, you’re probably annoyed.  That’s ok.  I can be annoying.  If you’re not vegan, you’re probably happy to know that you can still bake up some wonders without eggs and butter.  Your call.  

Love,

Joy the Baker

Pumpkin Bread.  Ooooh, you’re a tough one to futz up.  Pumpkin adds moisture and flavor that just won’t quit.  When combined with plenty of spices, pumpkin bread becomes a treat that will stay fresh and moist for days and days.  This version is sweetened with both brown sugar and maple syrup.  I. Love. It.  

Vegan Pumpkin Walnut Bread

     makes 2 loaves

     Print this Recipe!

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour ( or whole wheat flour… or just use only all-purpose flour)

2 cups light brown sugar, packed

1/3 cups granulated sugar

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon allspice

1/2 teaspoon cloves

1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree, or just under two cups

1 cup vegetable oil

1/3 cup maple syrup

1/3 cup water

1 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Place a rack in the center of the oven.  Grease and flour two loaf pans (mine are 8×4x2) and set aside.  

In a large bowl, whisk together flours, sugars, baking soda, baking powder, salt and spices.  

In a medium bowl, carefully whisk together pumpkin puree, oil, maple syrup and water.  

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and use a spatula to fold all of the ingredients together.  Make sure to scrape the bottom of the bowl well, finding any stray flour bits to mix in.  Fold in most of the chopped walnuts, reserving some to sprinkle on top of the batter once in the pan. 

Divide the dough between the two greased pans and sprinkle with a few walnut pieces.  Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean.  Remove from the oven.  Let rest in the pans for 20 minutes, then invert onto a cooling rack.  

Serve warm.  Maybe even wrap one loaf up in plastic wrap and store in the freezer for future munching.

I made rolls, of the cinnamon variety.

I use cinnamon rolls as a sort of… well, anxiety calming drug.  I don’t pop pills, I definitely pop cinnamon rolls.

See… there was this thing invented a good long while ago called the 10 Year Class Reunion.  It’s where you get together with all the people that made fun of you during your painfully awkward teenage years.  Yea.  Why?  Why do I have to do this?  Can’t we all just become friends on Facebook and Twitter and consider ourselves properly reunited!?

Seriously.  The future is now!

Since I think I’m going to gracefully bow out of the reunion festivities, here’s the CliffsNotes of what I might have said to my old classmates.

Hi.  Yea, it’s me Joy.  I sat behind you in.. a bunch of classes probably.  Here’s the update.  I went to college.  I read a lot of books.  I graduated.  I traveled around some.  I haven’t gotten married or pregnant yet.  Yea.. I’m prettier now, but that’s mostly because I was actually really ugly when you knew me.  I’m a baker.  I think it’s the most awesome thing ever.  I know a crap ton about food.  Would you like to discuss French cheeses at all?  I have a blog… also awesome.  Sure, I’d like to meet your boyfriend Steve.  I recognize him from your Facebook photos.  Your relationship status is “complicated” though… care to discuss?  No?   Hm… well, sure I’d like to see pictures of your kids.  Would you like to see pictures of my cinnamon rolls?  It’s only fair.

Don’t make me go to this thing.  It will be awkward.  Awkward.  Awkward. Awkward!

I need counsel and another cinnamon roll.

These cinnamon rolls are nothing short of amazing.  The cream cheese is folded (literally) into the dough, creating an extra moist, truly irresistible roll.  They take time… sure.  Yes.  But when it comes to things like your 10 Year Class Reunion… you just take the time to make the rolls.  It’s necessary.

Here’s the recipe.

Below the recipe are my step by step photos, in case you get knee deep into the recipe and panic.

Cream Cheese Cinnamon Rolls

Saveur October 2008

Print this recipe!

For the Dough:

1 – 1/4oz package active dry yeast 

1/2 teaspoon, plus 1/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup milk at room temperature

2 Tablespoons light brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 egg

1 egg yolk

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, sifted, plus more for kneading

3/4 teaspoon salt

8 Tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for the pan

For the Filling:

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup dark brown sugar

1/4 cup finely chopped pecans

1/4 cup finely chopped walnuts

1/4 cup raisins

1 Tablespoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

2 Tablespoons maple syrup

4 oz. cream cheese, at room temperature

8 Tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

For the Icing:

2 cups confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup buttermilk

Making the Dough:

In the bowl of a stand mixer combine yeast, 1/2 teaspoon sugar and 1/4 cup water heated to 115 degrees F.  Stir to combine and let sit until frothy and foamy, about 10 minutes.

Add remaining sugar, milk, light brown sugar, vanilla, egg, and egg yolk.  Beat with a wire whisk until well combined.  Fit the bowl onto the mixer, fitting with the dough hook attachment.  Add the flour and salt and mix on medium speed until the dough just begins to come together.  Turn the machine on medium-high and knead the dough for 4 minutes.

Add the butter and continue to knead for about 6 minutes.  The dough will the wet and sticky.  Place the dough on a well floured work surface, and knead about 1/3 cup all-purpose flour into the dough.  Don’t worry, the dough still might be a little sticky.  It’s ok.  Just set the dough to rest in a large greased bowl.  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel and allow to rise in a warm place for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until doubled in size.

While the dough rises, make the filling.  Combine the sugar, dark brown sugar, pecans, walnuts, raisins, cinnamon, salt and cloves in a large bowl.  Stir to combine.  Stir in the maple syrup.  Set aside.

When the dough has doubled in size, dump if from the bowl onto a heavily floured work surface.  Gently knead the dough until it is no longer sticky, adding more flour as needed.  I think I added about 3 Tablespoons of flour.  Work the dough for about 1 or 2 minutes.  Once it’s no longer sticky, place a kitchen towel over the dough and let rest for 5 minutes before you roll it out.

Using a floured rolling pin, roll the dough into a 10 x 10-inch square.

In a small bowl, mix the cream cheese with a knife until it’s smooth and spreadable.

Spread the cream cheese evenly over the dough square.  Fold the square into thirds like you would fold a letter to fit into an envelope.  Take the open ends of the rectangle and fold into thirds again, to make a smaller dough square.

Invert the dough so that the seam is face down and, using the rolling pin, gently roll it into a 10 x 20-inch rectangle.  You make find that some cream cheese sneaks through.  Be as gently as possible with the dough, but continue to work it until you reach the size you need.

Turn the dough so that the short sides are parallel to you.  You’re going to roll from the short sides of the dough.

Brush the top of the dough with half of the melted butter.  We’ll use the rest of the butter after the rolls are baked.

Pour all of the filling onto the dough.  Spread evenly, leaving a 1-inch boarder at one of the short edges of the dough so the roll can be properly sealed.  Lightly press the filling into the dough.

Using your hands, lift up the bottom edge of the dough and roll it forward into a tight cylinder.  Place dough cylinder seam side down on a cutting board.  Using a sharp, thin knife, trim off the uneven edges.

Cut cylinder into 8 equal slices.  Nestle the slices, cut side up and evenly spaced in a butter 9 x 13-inch (light colored) metal baking dish.  Cover pan with plastic wrap and set aside in a warm place to let rise for 2 hours.  You may also refrigerate rolls overnight.

Heat the oven to 375 degrees F.  Uncover the rolls.  If you refrigerated the rolls, let them sit at room temperature for 15 minutes before baking.  Bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 30 minutes.

Make the icing:  While the rolls are baking, whisk together the sugar and buttermilk in a small bowl until smooth.

Transfer the pan of cinnamon rolls to a cooling rack.  Brush with remaining butter.  Let cool for 5 minutes.  Dip the tines of a fork into the icing and drizzle over the rolls.  Serve immediately.

Some of the stuff you’ll need.

This is what the dough looks like as it’s coming together after the flour is added.

After kneading in the mixer for 10 minutes, I took the dough out, added 1/3 cup more flour and kneaded.

Gettin’ ready for the first rise.

Now make the filling!

Big, happy dough after 2 hours!

Knead the dough on a heavily floured surface, adding more flour so the dough is no longer sticky.

Roll that darling in a 10 x 10-inch circle and cream cheese it!

Fold it up.

And again.

Keep folding.

Done!

Now roll again.  This time to 10 x 20-inches.

Time for the good stuff.

And roll.

Trim the edges and slice into 8 slices.

Into the pan.

And baked!

That’s good stuff.  Great job.

Think this recipe is a little too daunting!?  I understand… you might like this one though!

On losing, letting go of little sisters, and warm biscuits:

We never talked about this.  I didn’t know how to bring it up.  The 2009 Bloggies.  Remember?  Best New Blog?  So… I sorta…. kinda…. mostly… didn’t win.  The thing is, I really really wanted to win.  I did.  I played it cool though.  On the outside, I pretended to not care either way.  That was a big fat lie.  But the thing about losing… it’s pretty cool actually… it makes me want to be better.  It also makes me unbelievably grateful for all of your smiling faces.  Fact.

I found myself in a frenzy this morning.  My little sister left for a many month long European adventure.  The thought of her being so far away that I can’t easily call her at two in the morning to scream our favorite Mariah Carey song at her sent me into panic mode.  I calmed myself, safe in the knowledge that my sister deserved some life changing adventures and I am due many presents from far away lands upon her return.

Biscuits.  If I were to hand you a warm biscuit with raspberry jam would you: a)  throw it on the ground and shove me on the floor or b) thank me kindly, gobble the biscuit and give me a giant hug?  If your answer involved shoving me on the floor… well, that’s kinda funny, but throwning biscuits on the floor is just plain rude.  Don’t do it.

These Buttermilk Buiscuits… well, they must be blessed by the heavens.  I don’t think there’s any other way to explain just how good they are.  They’re best right out of the oven, steaming hot, doused with butter and jam.

My dad has been making this recipe for Buttermilk Biscuits for our family for, exactly, ever.  Incedentially, my sister has been swiping them of the table for as long as I can remember.  They’re simple family goodness.

Dad’s Buttermilk Biscuits

Print this recipe!

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 Tablespoons sugar

4 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup shortening, cold and cut into cubes

1/4 cup butter, cold and cut into cubes

1 egg, beaten

3/4 cup buttermilk, cold

In a mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, cream of tartar and salt.  Cut in shortening and butter until mixture resembles coarse meal.  In another bowl, combine egg and milk and beat lightly with a fork.  Add to flour mixture all at once, stirring enough to make a soft dough.

Turn out onto a floured board and knead about 15 times.  Roll or pat out into a 1-inch thickness.  Cut into 2-inch rounds using a biscuit cutter or cut into 2×2-inch squares.  Reshape and roll dough to create more biscuits with excess scraps.    Place on an ungreased baking sheet and bake at 425 degrees F for 12-15 minutes.  Serve immediately.

Here are a few Monday confessions I feel compelled to get off my chest:

I’ve given up working out for the new year.  I don’t wanna do.  I’m liable to throw a tantrum about it.

I just bought a vacuum, and I’m too embarrassed to tell you how long I went without one.

I’m secretly seriously competitive. Did you hear? Did you vote?

I don’t use parchment paper when I’m supposed to.  At all. I don’t have any good reason for not using it, just a serious mental block.

I don’t like to buy myself fancy kitchen equipment.  I’d rather buy shoes.  Crazy, right?

I made these Giant Paprika Cheddar Biscuits last week around ten in the morning.  By two in the afternoon I had worked my way through a cool four of them.

Again… I’ve given up working out for the new year, which I obviously must feel bad about because here I am mentioning it again.  Unfortunately I don’t feel bad enough to lace up my running shoes…   sigh… moving on!

About the biscuits:  super easy, delicately spiced with sweet paprika from Spain (thank you Rachel!) and dotted with melted cheddar.  I measured out each biscuit with a half cup scoop and they were absolutely GIANT!  Next time I might try a 1/4-cup of 1/3-cup measuring scoop to dollop out the batter for more reasonable biscuits.

These pretties would be just lovely for breakfast with a fried egg and sliced tomato, or with an equally giant pot of Turkey Chili.  You could always just go the Joy the Baker route and plow through four biscuits while standing in your kitchen reading the newest issue of Bon Appetit magazine.  You’ve got options, just make these biscuits part of your plan.

Paprika Cheddar Drop Biscuits

adapted from Martha Stewart’s Baking Handbook

Print this recipe!

makes 8 giant biscuits or 12 smaller biscuits

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons sugar

3/4 teaspoon sweet smoked paprika, plus more for dusting

6 Tablespoons unsalted butter, cold, cut into pieces

6 ounces cheddar, finely grated (about 1 cup)

1 1/2 cups heavy cream ( I used 1 cup whole milk and 1/2 cup sour cream)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.  I just greased and floured my baking pan, skipping the paper.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar and paprika.  Using a pastry blender, or your fingers, cut the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles course meal with a few larger clumps remaining.  Stir in the cheese with a fork.

Add the cream (or milk and sour cream); using a rubber spatula, stir until the dough just comes together.  The dough will be slightly sticky;  don’t over mix.  Using a 1/2-cup measure (for giant biscuits) or a 1/4-cup or 1/3-cup for smaller biscuits, scoop mounds of dough about 1 1/2-inches apart of the prepared baking sheet.  Lightly dust with paprika.

Bake, rotating the sheet halfway through baking, until golden brown, about 15 to 20 minutes.  Slide parchment and biscuits onto a wire rack to cool or let biscuits cool on pan for 5 minutes before removing onto a wire rack with a spatula.  Serve warm or at room temperature.

If my sister and I were produce instead of people, we’d be persimmons. Without a doubt… a couple of sibling persimmons- from the same tree but oooooooh so different. Let me explain. This will all make sense in a short bit.

My little sister and I are two and a half years apart. That means we were close enough to tear things up and figure out how to get ourselves out of it. You know, experiment, explore, break stuff and try not to get in trouble… life skills.

My sister, as an adorable, slick and sly child genius, would mush up and cry whenever trouble was on the horizon. I was not quite so skilled.

Maybe we’re about to get in trouble for knocking out the screen door that was just installed hours earlier… or we’re about to get a talking to for breaking the bathroom window with a soccer ball… or someone, who shall remain nameless, thought it would be a good idea to swing like Tarzan from the palm tree…

Here’s how the situation would play out: Lauren would run into the house, after one of our outdoor terror sessions , a big ball of red eyes and tears. She’d throw herself on the ground inconsolable, and thus… unpublishable. I would freeze and try to figure out a way to fix the broken thing before my parents could discover it. Not wise. Not wise at all. I was always the one left standing stiff with the broken object, eyes wide, wracking my brain for solutions. Thus… I always got in trouble. I’m not just saying that… Lauren, you totally know it’s true.

Any while we’re on the subject, please allow me this:

Dear Lauren,

You know you were the one that ran straight into the new screen door. That was all you. I was watching The Cosby Show and minding my own business. You and your tears! I got in soooo much trouble for that! No, twenty years later, I’m still not over it. Well played sister. Very well played.

This isn’t over.

Your sister,

Joy

So… um… persimmons. Follow me.

I got a lovely couple of persimmons about two weeks ago. Two in particular reminded me of me and my darling sister. One mushed up and ripened right on cue. The other… well… hard as a rock. The same amount of time, from the same farmer’s market pile, but they were so different.

When I could wait no longer for the stubborn and solutions-oriented persimmon to get with the program, I decided to give in and make this AMAZING Persimmon Bread.

The recipe is from David Lebovitz from James Beard. It’s such a delight! It surprised even me! Persimmons lend a special sweetness and lots of moisture. There’s bourbon and you can taste it! And the walnuts just balance the whole loaf out perfectly. Use the big fat, super ripe and much Hachiya persimmons for this recipe.

Oh, and… thanks for letting me get that whole sister thing off my chest.

Persimmon Bread

Print this recipe!

Using the higher amount of sugar will produce a moister and, of course, sweeter bread.
From Beard on Bread by James Beard.
3½ cups sifted flour ( I used half all purpose flour and half white whole wheat flour)
1½ teaspoons salt
2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 to 2½ cups sugar
1 cup melted unsalted butter and cooled to room temperature
4 large eggs, at room temperature, lightly beaten
2/3 cup cognac, bourbon or whiskey
2 cups persimmon puree (from about 4 squishy-soft Hachiya persimmons)
2 cups walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped
2 cups raisins, or diced dried fruits (such as apricots, cranberries, or dates)

1. Butter 2 loaf pans. Line the bottoms with a piece of parchment paper or dust with flour and tap out any excess.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

3. Sift the first 5 dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
4. Make a well in the center then stir in the butter, eggs, liquor, persimmon puree then the nuts and raisins.

5. Bake 1 hour or until toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
Storage: Will keep for about a week, if well-wrapped, at room temperature. The Persimmon Breads take well to being frozen, too.

It should come as no surprise that I relate to the world through food. Sure, I’m fairly well adjusted, I can carry on a warm conversation and function in life, but in the secret world that is my brain, I’m always trying to understand the world around me by relating it to something I’ve eaten.

Crazy? Maybe. Confusing? Let me explain.

Say I walk into my parents’ house and am greeted with a hug and kiss from my father. That’s just like eating a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream smothered with warm dulce de leche sauce. The hug from my dad and the ice cream create the same feeling in my brain. Get it?

The smell of fresh rain on concrete is just like eating a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

Having a heart to heart with my mom is just like sipping Earl Grey tea with extra sugar and milk.

Getting a paper cut is just like taking a shot of cheap tequila with salt and dry limes.

Falling absolutely, head over heals, silly in love with someone is just like smooth bourbon and cigarettes at midnight.

Sitting next to Grandmother at the dinner table and feeling her almost thoughtlessly stroke my hand as if it were her own… that’s just like this perfectly spiced Banana Cranberry Bread. Yes, there’s that much comfort in the bread. It’s the real deal.

Is this making any sense? My head has been in the clouds lately. Chalk it up to lots of bourbon and cigarettes at midnight.

Wherever my head is these days, I do know amazing banana bread when it crosses my path- thank goodness for that.

Banana Cranberry Bread

thank you to SmittenKitchen who thanks SimplyRecipes

Print this recipe!

3 to 4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 cup melted salted butter
3/4-1 cup light brown sugar, depending on the level of sweetness you prefer
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon bourbon
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Pinch of ground cloves
1 1/2 cup of flour

1 cup fresh cranberries

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F. With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, vanilla and bourbon, then the spices. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour, mix. Add the cranberries, and stir until just incorporated. Pour mixture into a buttered 4×8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.