Joy the Baker

My favorite part of my sixth grade history text books were not the pictures.  Oooooh no… too easy.  I loved the little timelines at the end of a lesson, the kind of timeline that so neatly wrapped up the life and struggles of so many people.  Distill the entire American Civil Rights Movement into a timeline.  The progression of people and actions becomes so tidy and clear.  Aaah, thanks for the timeline.

I sometimes like to think of my life in timeline form.  I pick a theme and timeline it out in my head.  Yes, this happens.

Let’s timeline out my favorite ice cream flavors from the 1980’s to the present.  Not nearly as socially crucial as civil rights, but still somehow important.

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{ 1983- Strawberry Ice Cream is the only flavor in my world}  {1987- Whoa!  Bubble Gum in ice cream!?  Yes.  Want!}  {1990-  Rocky Road is the only way to go}     {1994-  Is it still Mint Chocolate Chip if it’s not green?  I say yes!}  {1999-  Cherry Garcia, will you marry me?}  {2005-  Going retro with Rainbow Sherbet, success!  {2009-  Enjoying the clever stylings of Brownie Bottom Coffee Ice Cream Cupcakes.  Consider them little cups of perfect fun right from the freezer.  For reals.}

Now that I can check “make an ice cream timeline” off my list of things to do today, let’s talk Ice Cream Cupcakes. Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!

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On Saturday afternoon I found my self standing in my kitchen, sipping a hot cup of milky Ovaltine. As I stood there, I started reading the Ovaltine canister… you know, like you read the box of cereal as you eat breakfast.

It turns out that my unassuming canister of Ovaltine had a recipe for me. I paused. I raised an eyebrow. I set down my mug of Rich Chocolate Ovaltine and I decided to bake their Ovaltine brownie recipe.

Let me stop here to answer the questions that have undoubtedly formed in your mind.

Yes, on rare occasions, I’ve been known to enjoy a cup of warm Rich Chocolate Ovaltine. A girl can only drink so much tea.

No, I will never again enjoy a warm cup of Rich Chocolate Ovaltine.

Why? I’ve discovered that Rich Chocolate Ovaltine is neither rich, nor chocolate. I’m not even convinced that it’s food. It should not be baked into brownies. Ugh. God. Ick. No! Mistake.

What happened? My ‘brownies’ came out of the oven bubbling with butter and chocolate-ish preservatives. Brownies are not supposed to bubble with butter. My house didn’t even smell like warm brownie goodness. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I felt sorry for the two sticks of innocent butter that I subjected to such torture.

But I learned something- something that I had already known, but my judgement must have been clouded by artificial chocolate flavoring. Use real ingredients. There is no substitute. Ovaltine is not chocolate. It might say it’s chocolate. It might strive to be chocolate, but it’s not, and it has no business in your brownie pan.

Sigh.

Don’t get it twisted. I’m not entirely hating on Ovaltine. Ovaltine rocks the house in my Chocolate Buttercream Frosting.