Joy the Baker

I made rolls, of the cinnamon variety.

I use cinnamon rolls as a sort of… well, anxiety calming drug.  I don’t pop pills, I definitely pop cinnamon rolls.

See… there was this thing invented a good long while ago called the 10 Year Class Reunion.  It’s where you get together with all the people that made fun of you during your painfully awkward teenage years.  Yea.  Why?  Why do I have to do this?  Can’t we all just become friends on Facebook and Twitter and consider ourselves properly reunited!?

Seriously.  The future is now!

Since I think I’m going to gracefully bow out of the reunion festivities, here’s the CliffsNotes of what I might have said to my old classmates.

Hi.  Yea, it’s me Joy.  I sat behind you in.. a bunch of classes probably.  Here’s the update.  I went to college.  I read a lot of books.  I graduated.  I traveled around some.  I haven’t gotten married or pregnant yet.  Yea.. I’m prettier now, but that’s mostly because I was actually really ugly when you knew me.  I’m a baker.  I think it’s the most awesome thing ever.  I know a crap ton about food.  Would you like to discuss French cheeses at all?  I have a blog… also awesome.  Sure, I’d like to meet your boyfriend Steve.  I recognize him from your Facebook photos.  Your relationship status is “complicated” though… care to discuss?  No?   Hm… well, sure I’d like to see pictures of your kids.  Would you like to see pictures of my cinnamon rolls?  It’s only fair.

Don’t make me go to this thing.  It will be awkward.  Awkward.  Awkward. Awkward!

I need counsel and another cinnamon roll.

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Just the thought of cinnamon rolls-  warm, gooey, soft, sweet- makes me literally swoon.  I love them.  If I were a baking superhero (I’m working on it) my weakness would be cinnamon rolls.

As much as I love the little devils (and I hate to say this) I hate to bake them.  The problem is not the sweet yeast dough or the rolling or the slicing.  I simply have no patience for the waiting that is required of me during the proofing, rolling, slicing and proofing again process.  I realize this is totally unreasonable, but it’s just the truth.

Nicole at Baking Bites seems the understand my need for instant, yet stubbornly homemade cinnamon roll goodness.

I’d like to introduce you to Cinnamon Roll Muffins-  add the yeast, subtract the long rising.

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I have a confession to make.  It’s about cinnamon rolls.  I love these gooey little treats to pieces, but I only eat the center. That’s it, just the center coil.  Why?  That’s where all the goodness is!  I see the rest of the cinnamon roll as protection for the precious, beyond delicious center.  I always feel wasteful, but someone always comes along and gladly eat the shamelessly discarded scraps.

Recently McDonalds came out with a dessert that tries to simulate the center cinnamon roll euphoria.  Without openly admitting that I’ve actually enjoyed something from McDonalds, I will say that this dessert (which I think only costs a dollar) is served warm, and full of cinnamon and tenderness… and lots of sweet white frosting type stuff.  I won’t say it’s delicious, but I will say this: warm, cinnamon, sweet, 2:30am, 24 hour drive through, plastic fork, disposable container, no dishes, no evidence.

But if you have the time and inclination, these cinnamon rolls are a dream. 

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