Joy the Baker

Can I tell you a secret?  Sometimes I lack all confidence in the kitchen.  It’s true.  Sometimes a project will keep me up at night.  Sometimes the ingredient list will just baffle me.  Sometimes I hold my breath as I incorporate the ingredients, or I second guess myself and reread the recipe with every turn of my spatula.

It’s the absolute truth.  Sometimes I just need someone to hold my hand through a new recipe… or I at least need to be allowed to throw my hands up and call uncle at any point during the process.

I tell you all this so you know that when I stepped in the kitchen to make pasta this past weekend… well… I was totally intimidated.  I wasn’t sure I could pull this off.

I know… I know… everyone was telling me how easy it was.  Frankly, I was convinced they were liar liarpants.  For real.  Handmade pasta!?  Easy?  Not possible.

Well, let me be honest.  Pasta isn’t as entirely easy as everyone would have me believe.  That’s not to say it’s impossibly hard…. not at all.  For me, making pasta by hand just involves a little talking to myself, a big area where I could throw flour all around, a rolling pin and willingness for a good arm work out, and a few hours set aside for doughing… mostly just patting it, talking to it, and walking around the house showing it to whatever family member would pay attention to me.

The end result is beyond… BEYOND comforting.  The process was super satisfying, and really?  So Much Fun!  Pasta!  I made pasta!  Daaang!  I’m going to go ahead and pat myself on the back for this one.  Don’t mind me… I’ll be done in a minute.

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Some things in the world are just too too easy.  Peanut butter is one of those things.

I suppose those easy things work to compliment the tasks in life that are far too complicated for their own good.  These complicated tasks include, but are not limited to, matching your socks fresh out of the dryer, finding your other slipper in a closet full of shoes, and emptying your vacuum bag and finding replacements of the same size and shape… seriously, why is that so hard!?

Where these little bits of life are difficult, some things, like homemade peanut butter, are easy peasy.  Thank goodness for the little things.

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Sometimes what I need from the world manifests itself in the strangest ways.

Truth be told, I think I might need a hug. I know… that phrase has tinges of lame and needy all over it. I could easily go find a hug, that’s not the issue. I’m looking for a very specific hug.

I need to kind of hug that I imagine comes from the husband I don’t yet have. The kind of hug that you can completely relax into. The kind of hug where you are exactly who you are without any self conscious discomfort. The kind of hug that I imagine comes with familiar husband neck smells, synchronized breathing, and maybe a whisper in the ear. The kind of hug that softens everything in the world- that’s the kind of hug I need.

Since I don’t exactly have that soul changing hug at my everyday disposal, I decided to take to get in my kitchen and make myself exactly what my soul wanted to eat. Ironically enough, my soul didn’t wax on about chocolate, or pudding or fresh doughnuts. All my insides wanted was a big, fresh, home-crafted Caesar Salad.

Funny how that works.

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This endeavour was in no way glamorous.  If nothing else, these Homemade Twinkies highlighted my ability to make something from nothing.  I knew I wanted to make Twinkies, which if you aren’t familiar with, are white cake like treats with a light marshmallow-ish cream center.   Amazon sells do-it-yourself-Twinkie-pans, but sometimes I prefer the uphill battle.

So when the need for a Homemade Twinkie strikes, I get out my roll of foil and spice bottle, and I make my own pan.  Well, I’m being generous in calling it a pan.  I essentially made foil boats for cake batter.  I know.  Kinda madness.  I didn’t dream this notion on my own- thank you YouTube.

I’m almost embarrassed to share this with you….  they were so tasty, but the road getting there wasn’t so glamorous.  Sometimes these things happen in my kitchen.

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