Joy the Baker

Let me lay out some facts for you:

My bed has an electric blanket on it this winter.  My fears of spontaneous combustion are usurped by my complete inability to actually get out of my warm bed.  

Yes… I’m totally writing this from bed.  Try and stop me.  This cozy just won’t quit. 

I have exactly zero interest in turning on my oven for the next week… mostly because my oven isn’t in arms length of my bed.  I really don’t want to get out of bed.  

Yes… I’m talking a lot about my bed right now.  Maybe I’m obsessed.  Maybe this is unhealthy.

But!  There is one reason I’m getting out of bed tomorrow.  Vacation.  Holy hell!  I’m going on vacation!  I’m going to a gorgeous spa/ bed and breakfast situation in San Luis Obispo… all by myself.  There’s a bathtub.  Not just any bathtub… but a soaking tub… next to a fireplace.  Oh.  My.  God.  I only plan on leaving that soaking tub in an extreme prune state.  

If you’re in San Luis Obispo and you think you can lure me out of my soaking tub… we should totally have lunch!

Before all the soaking begins… here’s a deep purple Blackberry Granita.  I suggest eating in in bed, under the covers, while watching your third Netflix romantic comedy.  Don’t worry.  No judgements.  This granita just tastes better that way.  

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Oooooh geez!  

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  

I received an overwhelming response to my rooftop picnic plans.  You and you and you over there…. you guys are rad!  

I’ll send out email invitations later today.  Keep your eyes peeled.  

Unfortunately, because of the huge response, I am unable to extend an invitation to each and every one of you.  I received more requests than I have room for.  Bummer.  Total bummer.  But stay close!  I’ll let you know as more spaces become available.  I want to see as many of your smiling faces as possible.  Wait…. have I mentioned that I’m shy?  I guess on August 23rd I’m not shy… not shy at all.

Let’s not forget the virtual picnic!  More details on that as the date approaches.

I have this nasty little habit that shouldn’t bother you in the least… unless of course you’re one of the unlucky people in the world that might have to share a pint of ice cream with me.  

See… I’m a picker.  I will shamelessly pick out every good morsel of ice cream chunky goodness from a pint, leaving only half melted ice cream for you.  Cookie Dough Ice Cream is only Cookie Dough Ice Cream until I get my paws on it for five minutes.  After a cool five minutes, that pint is just a sad excuse for vanilla ice cream.  Don’t even get me started of Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream.  I’ve got enough skills to dig out every ounce of peanut butter in seconds flat.

It’s a shameless habit.  It’s terrible and selfish… and it’ll never change.  I can’t help myself. 

Cookie No-Dough Ice Cream may have just solved my ice cream picking issue.  Instead of having vanilla ice cream with chunks of cookie dough embedded within it, this ice cream… the entire ice cream is the flavor of cookie dough!  Holy heck balls!  That’s amazing.  Yea.. it is. 

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A few weeks ago I threw a little idea out into the world:  a Joy the Baker picnic.

Well… holy heck!  We’re doing it!

Joy the Baker is throwing a rooftop cupcake party smack dab in the middle of gorgeous downtown Los Angeles.  Consider it a room with a view (the view pictured above silly!)… and no roof and tons of cupcakes and sweet tea.  

Sunday August 23rd from 2pm until 7pm.  Downtown Los Angeles.  

This event is not a pot luck situation.  It’s more of a eat-all-the-Joy-the-Baker-cupcakes-you-can situation.  

If you’d like to attend, send an email to joythebakerpicnic (at) gmail (dot) com

I’ll email you the fancypants invitation late next week.  

Now… a girl can only make so may cupcakes.  In the event that I have to limit the guest list, invitations will go out on a first come, first serve basis.  Get your emails in!

Not in Los Angeles?  Don’t fret!  I have plans for you to play along wherever you live.  You might call it a virtual picnic!  Stay tuned for that!

I want to see your shining faces!

I like you.  I like you a lot.  I mean it… and I don’t think I’ve told you in a while.  Sweet.  I’m glad you’re here.

Would now be a good time to tell you that I have a serious, though not lasting, aversion to my kitchen these days?   I have an even more serious aversion to my oven.  For reals.

It’s just that… well, it’s summer!  There seems to be so many museums to visit, brunches to have, friends to laugh with, wine to drink… and somehow none of this fun takes place in my kitchen.

Amazingly, and through the miracle that is my freezer, I’ve managed to throw together a lovely and waaaay super easy summer recipe.  It’s apple pie meets snow cone, minus the cone, plus a hint of awesome.

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Lovely friends… hi.  Dear readers… hello.

Let’s talk about keeping it classy.  Hot dang! I try hard to keep it classy.  Holy smokes… do I ever fail sometimes.

Let’s discuss classy versus not classy, and what the heck chocolate dipped bananas have to do with anything.

Classy:  a tastefully short summer sundress.  Not class:  booty shorts that awkwardly bunch in the crotch.

Classy:  gracefully switching from wine to water at the company picnic.  Not classy:  maybe getting drunk and punching the sous chef in the face.  Oops.

Classy:  How much I love listening to public radio.  Not classy:  How much I love to watch The Real Housewives of  New Jersey.  Guilty… but why do they yell so much?

Classy: Enjoying mini chocolate dipped bananas on a summer afternoon.  Not as classy:  Trying to gnaw your way through a giant chocolate dipped banana.  It’s just not pretty friends.  Let’s try to avoid this scene this summer.  I think we all know why.

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I still write letters.

I still hand write letters in a festive card with a return address sticker.  I might even decorate the envelope with a rubbe-stamped dolphin stampede.

I still write letters and I still have pen pals.

My favorite pen pal?   My grandmother.  I call her Mommom.  She’s rad.  I don’t know how she would feel about me calling her rad.  She writes me short letters during the break she takes on her morning walk.  These letters are usually written from her favorite bagel shop.  Letters always include some sort of loving greeting, an update about her walking adventures and the bagel shop, something about an upcoming trailer trip, inquiries about my little sister, and an abrupt closing.  Short, sweet and to the point.

The best part about being pen pals with Mommom is that she will not let me slack off.  If  I haven’t written her a letter in a few weeks, I’ll get another letter urging me to, if I know what’s good for me, write my grandmother back.  If for some reason I don’t get to that letter in adequate time… well, I’m liable to hurt my grandmother’s feelings.  Hurt grandmother feelings, of course, leads to all sorts of guilt from all sorts of family members.  News of pen pal activity, or inactivity travels fast in my family.

Letter writing isn’t a chore.  It’s a nice break from simultaneously writing an email and checking my blog stats and watching stupid cat videos.   Letter writing is not technology multi-tasking.  It’s easy, breezy, simple… all about just sendin’ a little love.

Then there’s cobbler, which couldn’t be any more simple and delicious.  This easy cobbler is like letter writing, in baking form.  Spend a little time baking up a little love with this cobbler.  Sit down with a nice warm slice and write a letter to someone.  It’s supreme.

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… eat watermelon, in a park, in a row with several friends, quickly, in a race-type situation.  See who finishes first.  Crown them the winner.

Call it a Watermelon Eating Contest.

It’s summer.  Summer is fun.  Watermelon is summer fun.

Here are five Watermelon Eating Contest tips, from a photographer not a participant.

Just before the race, it’s not a bad idea to lick your lips and stretch out the back.  You’ll need every advantage.  No… pregnant women do not have to eat twice the amount of watermelon.  It doesn’t work that way.

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Reason #457 why I love this warm weather, sunny spring that leads into summertime:  the ponytail.

It’s bouncy, it’s festive, it helps me look like I’m having a good time even when I’m just standing in line at the grocery store, and it makes me feel like a cheerleader… which is strangely satisfying.

The ponytail is simple and uncomplicated.  I think I’m going to make the ponytail, and the fun simplicity it represents, the theme for the lovely summer we’re working towards.

I think that summer fruit is so fun and just bursting with bright flavors.   Most need very little fuss when it comes to preparation.  Why complicate something that’s already lovely?

This Peach Brulee is just three ingredients and it’s a gorgeous way to start the day.  Make it for breakfast and top the warm peaches with thick Greek yogurt, or make enough peach halves to serve after a big dinner with friends and family.  For one or for many, this simple peach recipe shows off the best of what’s in store for us this summer.  Go forth and broil…. and please sport a ponytail this summer.  It’s rad.

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These bourbon laden treats were inspired by two things:  those still spring, but almost summer days that give you a hint at just how blazing hot this summer is going to be, and… this weekend’s Kentucky Derby.

Here’s what I know about Spring:

It’s green.  Once we get past the Easter Bunny stage, it’s all about blooming flowers and May showers.  Spring makes me feel like I’m in love with the world… probably because I am.

Here’s what I know about the Kentucky Derby:

Horses.  Hats.  Mint Juleps.

Here’s what I know about bourbon:

Dang, it’s good!

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My favorite part of my sixth grade history text books were not the pictures.  Oooooh no… too easy.  I loved the little timelines at the end of a lesson, the kind of timeline that so neatly wrapped up the life and struggles of so many people.  Distill the entire American Civil Rights Movement into a timeline.  The progression of people and actions becomes so tidy and clear.  Aaah, thanks for the timeline.

I sometimes like to think of my life in timeline form.  I pick a theme and timeline it out in my head.  Yes, this happens.

Let’s timeline out my favorite ice cream flavors from the 1980’s to the present.  Not nearly as socially crucial as civil rights, but still somehow important.

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{ 1983- Strawberry Ice Cream is the only flavor in my world}  {1987- Whoa!  Bubble Gum in ice cream!?  Yes.  Want!}  {1990-  Rocky Road is the only way to go}     {1994-  Is it still Mint Chocolate Chip if it’s not green?  I say yes!}  {1999-  Cherry Garcia, will you marry me?}  {2005-  Going retro with Rainbow Sherbet, success!  {2009-  Enjoying the clever stylings of Brownie Bottom Coffee Ice Cream Cupcakes.  Consider them little cups of perfect fun right from the freezer.  For reals.}

Now that I can check “make an ice cream timeline” off my list of things to do today, let’s talk Ice Cream Cupcakes. Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!

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Delicious!  Delicious!  Delicious!

I was lucky enough to have a holiday weekend free from hurricane winds and rain.  My prayers go out to those of you who had to put up with that madness from Mother Nature.

I spent a lovely amount of time in a bathing suit and miraculously managed to make an absolutely stellar late summer dessert.

In making these gorgeous roasted plums I also developed a deep love for my cast iron skillets.  I realized this weekend that I use my cast iron skillets for everything, short of boiling pasta.  From pancakes to grits to scrambled eggs to sweet roasted plums.  It’s in and out of the oven.  It’s heavy enough to clobber any would be robbers.  It holds heat like a champion, and it’s just all around reassuring to have in the kitchen.  I have two.  I’m thinking about naming them… that’s how far my love goes.

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A warning about this ice cream- don’t make it if you’re not prepared to eat the entire batch in one sitting and feel sick afterwards. Don’t do it. Don’t even think about making this ice cream if you think this is the kind of dessert that sits in the freezer waiting for after dinner, or company. This ice cream isn’t the one.

This Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream is the kind of summer time dessert that you eat, sitting on your patio at sunset saying hello to your neighbors as they come home from work while you watch episodes of Big Love on your laptop. This is that dessert.

If you’re trying to exercise self control, don’t make this ice cream. If you’re trying to set an example for your children about moderation, turn away now.

BUT! If you’re looking for the most amazingly decadent, lick your finger, lick the spoon, lick the scoop, lick the bowl, go back for more and lick it all again ice cream. Well friends, this is the one.

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I love comfort.  Ok.. I know that’s a stupid thing to say.  Who doesn’t like comfort?  That’s like saying that kittens are cute.  Not so controversial right?

Well, this Banana Pudding Ice Cream is an exploration in comfort.  I absolutely love banana pudding.  It not just the pudding, it’s the fresh whipped cream and vanilla wafers that just make the dessert feel like ultimate comfort.

Banana Pudding reminds me of laughter- comfortable summertime, gather in the backyard after a big summer meal- laughter.

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Please allow me this last party post. You won’t have to hear a word about it after this. Promise. But what’s a party without cupcakes? And what’s a chocolate cupcake without The Best Chocolate Buttercream Frosting? Tragedy, I suppose.

It should go without saying that these super soft chocolate cupcakes were a hit at the party. But there is one mystery. Around about 2 in the morning, as I was somehow making my way around the room collecting dirty plates, I ran across a plate with a discarded cupcake on it. The cupcake had one bite taken out of it, and then the remainder of the cupcake was smashed upside down onto the dirty paper plate. WHAT!? Who would do that!? Seriously… not cool.

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Here is my question to you?  When exactly are you supposed to find time to take good pictures when you’re hosting a party of 35 in a one bedroom apartment?  I think the answer to that question is simple.  Take pictures before everyone shows up.  More importantly, take pictures before you’re 3 margaritas into the party because even auto focus can’t help you then.

What could be better than a party with margaritas, chocolate cupcakes and loads of friends and family?  Probably the same party, but with beautiful pictures as evidence.  Throw in some homemade,  16 avocado guacamole and wonton empanadas and why ever would anyone want to leave?

Let’s start with the guacamole-

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Praise the heavens!  I got a new cookbook!  I think I was in a cookbook rut.  I found myself relying on the same two cookbooks day after day for my baking indulgence.  Granted, they’re great cookbooks- charming, attractive and funny- but I had heard all their stories, seem all of their dress shirts, and laughed at all their jokes.  I needed something new.

Just when I was about to accept my circumstance, a charming new love came into my life. Sweets by Patty Pinner is my new darling.  This book is more than just a collection of recipes.  Sweets is a gathering of family memories.  In my life food is all about family and memories, so this book has quickly become so so dear to my heart.

Sweets is a southern style cookbook.  The recipes are extremely approachable.  Some of the cakes are made with (gasp!) cake mix, and then fancied up with additional ingredients.  The family pictures are utterly charming and the stories that go along with each recipe are really touching.  I read this book, cover to cover on an airplane, like a novel.  I just love it!

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